Worst Dressed, Part One

As a genius said to me on Oscar night, Jessica Biel's boob exploded, and the result is this dress.

Amy Adams: It's a shame she wore that beaded pebble sheath on her neck and her dress got stuck between her boobs (I'm getting word it was meant to look like that... ouch), because she's extremely talented and beautiful.

Kate Winslet: Dress- meh, Hair: Please leave the mullet at home next Oscar.

It's a good thing that Tilda Swinton is fierce as hell, because this bag "dress" on any other would be the death of that actress's career.

Michael Shannon and his hair do a hippie-fied version of Joaquin Phoenix.

Amanda Seyfried: Is that a bow on your hip or are you just happy to see me? (A new personal low for me).

Lisa Rinna, taking the only trend from the eighties not to haunt my nightmares as of yet (big hair) and combining it with the sex appeal of a soccer mom high on Botox.

Lovely Pictures of the Newly Crowned Winners

Penelope Cruz, Best Supporting Actress for Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Heath Ledger, Best Supporting Actor, The Dark Knight

Dustin Lance Black, Best Original Screenplay, Milk

Kate Winslet, Best Actress, The Reader

Sean Penn, Best Actor, Milk

Slumdog Millionaire, Best Picture

Images found via Google and Oh La La Mag. Look for my post-Oscars analysis tomorrow including the fashions! Have a great night and thanks for reading!

My Pick for Best Actress 2008 Oscars

Here is my list (in order from the woman I would least like to win to most) of the Best Actress nominees for this year's Oscars with the corresponding reasons why (and pics!):

5. Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married.


Is she good/capable in the movie? Yes. Is it worthy of an Oscar for her very first nomination? No. Anne plays Kym, a former model who ditches rehab to attend her big sister's painfully diverse wedding and along the way we hear her awkward to the point of nausea-inducing speeches drawing all the attention away from her sister's big day to her tragic needs and insecurity. It turns out that Kym is in the running for Worst Person in the World and she seeks to prove it with every passing scene. I cannot honestly believe that this person would ever exist, and I found myself more in disbelief than in suspension while watching her and I did not end up buying her portrayal or the character herself. And her babbling speeches this award season certainly did not help my feelings.

4. Melissa Leo- Frozen River.


Melissa plays Ray, an abandoned Mom of two who just wants to buy her kids a double-wide trailer to live in, so she happens upon a smuggling ring in Indian territory in upstate New York in order to make extra cash. Considering she has so much going wrong with her life, she remarkably is not a pitiful or pathetic character, unlike Halle Berry in Monster's Ball for example. She recognizes her responsibilities in certain aspects of her story and completes them despite remarkable odds. I probably liked her character and portrayal third best out of five, but I do not think it is a strong enough role this year to win the Oscar (it was a great year in spite of the Writers' Strike).

3. Kate Winslet- The Reader.

Kate plays Hanna, a train toll collector who starts an illicit affair with a 15 year-old boy in Germany 1958 (or thereabouts). It is his first love affair and it lasts a summer, but she leaves him unexpectedly only to be reunited about ten years later while he is studying a trial where she is being tried for exacting unspeakable crimes (but not pedophilia). Kate is nude for approximately the first half of the film, which I am never a fan, especially because in this case it does not do much except to make her out as more of a monster than she already is for taking advantage of this boy with absolutely no regard for his wellbeing. I was convinced that it was Hanna on screen and not Kate, but her portrayal is so non-expressive that I felt I did not even know who she was or have one inkling about her motives in any aspect of her life the film portrays. She seems to be the one to beat this year which I find unfortunate and I am trying not to be too cynical about the possible reasons why.

2. Angelina Jolie- Changeling.


Angelina plays Christine Collins, a single working mother who comes home from work to find her son missing. The police are too corrupt to think they could ever make a mistake and jump on the first missing boy they find who even remotely resembles the description of her son, mostly so they can stop looking for him. She, obviously, recognizes that the returned boy is not in fact her son and continues to stand up to the police until she is thrown in a psychiatric ward for doing so. It goes without saying that Angelina is an excellent actress, but I am always shocked at how quickly I absorb into each new role she takes. I never doubted for a second that she was Christine and I never thought "why is Angelina dressed like a Gibson Girl" because she is able to transform herself, with simple period makeup and dress, into this character. The movie has its weak spots but it is not her failing. It may be the main downside to her international fame is that it is harder for her get the acclaim she deserves for roles such as this.

1. Meryl Streep- Doubt.


Meryl plays Sister Aloysius, the principal of a strict Catholic school in '60s Bronx who is feared by everyone, even though she still lies below the Catholic men in terms of power. Meryl has the uncanny ability as an actress (and a woman) to utterly dismiss someone with the simple snap of her eyes. She excelled in doing this as Miranda Priestley in "The Devil Wears Prada," but here it is a far more severe, far more dangerous dominance. She pulls the viewer toward her in every scene, and makes the other actors, especially Philip Seymour Hoffman, look like amateurs (and no real disrespect is meant by that- she is Meryl after all). She is able to command full attention and give an absolutely defining leading performance all without transforming makeup, without a sob story, and without ever taking pity on herself or expecting more of others than she does of herself. In short, she is my pick for Best Actress of this year's Oscars because Sister Aloysius does not just seem like a real nun you would find in the '60s, she seems like a true and real woman who does what she feels is right and makes no apologies in doing so. Meryl has played such varied characters throughout her fabulous career, and her turn in Doubt will not be forgotten easily by the viewer and hopefully the Academy.

Images found via Google Images.

More GG fashion!

Still waiting for a shot of Melissa George, Marisa Tomei (ouch), and the cast of Mad Men.
Here are some to tide you over until then:


The Golden Couple of the night. You know Mama wears the pants in this relationship.

Renee Zellweger, simply tragic.

Cameron Diaz, frumpy and unfortunate as always. Someone wants attention at all costs!

Shifting from the messes, here is the self-professed hot tranny (not a mess) Megan Fox

The always heavenly breasts of Salma Hayek can make even a nude colored dress stand out

Anne Hathaway significantly redeeming herself but still
stumbling in the makeup/accessories department.

The dress that Angelina should have worn... what a stunner.

Penelope Cruz, who can do no wrong.

A dress showcasing the beautiful breasts of Elizabeth Banks,
quite the funny and beautiful lady.

The ethereal January Jones of Mad Men showcasing her eyes in a blue dress... with pockets!

All images courtesy of Getty Images via InStyle online.

GG Fashion Part 1

Here are some pictures from the Golden Globes to illustrate my below descriptions.
Hopefully I will be able to find more tomorrow:


Laura Dern, in a lovely dress that gives her breasts!

The star of the night, Kate Winslet, during one of her interminably long acceptance speeches. Oh well, she had it coming. Notice Rumer is looking on wistfully.

Glenn Close, showing how gold can be done right...

and Jennifer Lopez, showing how gold can go terribly wrong.

Elisabeth Moss from Mad Men, looking absolutely divine.
Definitely my number one pick for the night.

All photos courtesy of Golden Globe® Awards 2009 -
© MMIX Hollywood Foreign Press Association®
"© HFPA" and "66th Golden Globe® Awards"
must accompany each published image. No sale is permitted.

Liveblogging the Golden Globes!

7:30 I have made my coveted "Barbra Streisand" drink: Ice + Bailey's + Butterscotch Schnapp's with milk (optional). Smooth and perfect, and will help to put me on par with the actual Globers.

7:32: Leo calls Kate his "homie" on E! Red Carpet. They look like they are married and fabulous. It can only help the film's buzz that they are walking the Carpet together.

7:34: Anne Hathaway redeems herself from her horrid "I Spy"-esque dress at the Critics Choice awards with a dazzling blue shiny number. Unfortunately her makeup and massive earrings age her to approximately 37 years old.

7:39: Marisa Tomei looks like a hideous frilly grandma. This is not a good comeback from her feminine napkin-esque look from the CCs.

7:40: Beyonce has a hair rat tail. It's blonde, and does not match her real hair color. Tyra, she needs a new weave!! Dress and jewelry, A+.

7:41: Andy and Jim working the Carpet together! A dream is a wish your heart makes...

7:43: Penelope Cruz: She looks relaxed and shockingly comfortable in her clothes, and she doesn't seem like she's wearing too much makeup (not that she needs it).

7:51: Jeremy Piven looks totally poisoned. Not from mercury, but from the band Poison. He sure lovessss to party.

7:52: Megan Fox calls herself an Alan Alda clone and a "tranny." She is the hottest 22-inch waist tranny I've ever seen...

7:57: Jay Manuel "glamastrates" Drew Barrymore's dress and J.Lo's Beyonce rip off. Someone needs Cash 4 Gold!

8:01: The 66th annual Golden Globes start rough with J.Lo. Really? She didn't even have a movie this year, just some kids. She presents Best Supporting Actress in a motion picture. "Hello, Mama Talking!" How fabulous.

Kate Winslet in the Reader wins, but I hear from a certain flame-haired source that she should be a full actress nom, not just supporting. I agree, if only so Penelope Cruz could win. Kate starts off thanking her agents. I always hoped that when she would win something it would be wittier than what it was. It was quite boring and non-descript.

8:06: Sting and his beard take the stage. He looks like Emile Hirsch from Into the Wild. He presents Best Original Song. Please let Bruce win, if nothing else to wipe that s***-eating grin from Miley's face.

Yea!! Success!! Another boring speech, but at least it wasn't as long as Kate's and Miley and Beyonce didn't win. I have more anti-wins than I do people to cheer for. It's quite sad. But at least I'm one for two in the percentage of awards guessed correctly! And Penelope will rise again! (And she has Javier to go home to).

8:14: Eva Longoria Parker and Simon Baker, an awkward coupling trying to present Miss Golden Globe over the drunk audience. Rumer Willis looks unfortunate but better than I thought. They present Best Supporting Actor from TV.

Tom Wilkinson wins for John Adams, which is fair, but it would have been nice to see Neil Patrick Harris win as a wild card. Jeremy Piven looked so sad when he lost. I'm sure his multiple Emmys and mercurial habits will comfort him.

A next category! Supporting actress from tv! These categories are quite boring. I have no anti-wins even. Laura Dern from Recount wins. I didn't see Recount and I hope these wins aren't politically motivated, but at least her dress is gorgeous. She looks surprisingly feminine (boobs) and healthy (not pale).

8:25 pm: Don Cheadle, bald man, introduces a clip of Burn After Reading and pleas to have been cast in a Coen movie, specifically Fargo. BAR was hilarious thanks to Frances and Brad, who were inspired as vain capitalizing dimwits.

8:27 pm: Eva Mendes presents the president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, who makes an awesomely short speech.

8:28 pm: Hayden Panettierre and Zac Efron present Actor- TV series Drama. Jon Hamm baby!! So gorgeous it's almost a crime. Gabriel Byrne wins in a crowded category where he should have been a loser. This is extremely unfortunate.

8:30: The new Spock and Kirk present Actress- TV Drama. January Jones!! Anna Paquin wins for True Blood. I hate vampires. Mad Men is being steamrolled by longshots. If only the way to win a Globe was to debate, Don Draper would win for sure. Sigh.

8:36: Ricky Gervais! Finally, some humor. A Holocaust joke? Don't mind if he does. I love that he is clearly drinking on stage and not apologizing. He introduces Happy Go Lucky as comedy film.

8:39: The Jonas Brothers, who clearly needed to be there. They present Outstanding Animated Feature while their voices have still not cracked. Isn't at least one over the age of 16? The winner is Wall-E, which is obvious. They are still a contender for the Big One at the Oscars, which would be a shock to say the least.

8:42: Johnny Depp brushes his hair and presents Best Actress in Musical/Comedy. He looks perfect as usual. Sally Hawkins wins, which is very exciting. She was crying before she got to touch Johnny Depp, what a gal. She seems quite intoxicated and nervous and keeps touching her breasts, which is hopefully keeping the vomit down. I hope she sits down and eats a sandwich, because she is approximately the size of a dogwood twig.

8:52 pm: Jake Gyllenhaal presents a clip of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore present (giggling maniacally) Best Miniseries or Motion Picture for TV. I would guess John Adams would be a shoo-in, but I am rooting for Bernard and Doris since I actually saw it (just yesterday!). The winner is John Adams, called it! Oh no, more Tom Hanks! I miss the glasses from the Emmys.

8:57: Demi Moore presents an award and looks better than her younger daughter while doing it. Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture, the big one. It would be silly to vote for anyone but Heath, he is the star. And he wins!! Christopher Nolan accepts again, which is nice, but they show a clip from the movie which is a bit awkward. He gets a standing ovation, and my panic attack that he would not win is over.

9:05: The gorgeous Tom Brokaw presents the clip for Frost/Nixon.

9:06: Colin Farrell! Colin Farrell! Presents Foreign Language Film. He looks perfect and primed to "party." Waltz with Bashir looks so beautiful. And it wins! And Colin makes a coke joke, claiming he has a cold "and not the thing it used to be." I wonder if Bashir will be nominated for foreign and animated films at the Oscars. The man responsible for Bashir uses the same speech from the BFCCAs (weak).

9:09: Best Actress in a miniseries or tv movie, presented by Aaron Eckhart and Maggie Gyllenhaal. Gotta go with John Adams again, but I will take Susan Sarandon's decolletage any day. Laura Linney wins, obviously, because how can someone resist Tom Hanks connected to a historical epic? She looks lovely in a yellow gown, but the speeches are getting longer and more boring. Two short hours to go!

9:17: Gerard Butler presents a clip for In Bruges, which was incredibly hilarious, and really showcased Colin in a new light. It's very exciting it got so many nominations tonight.

9:19: Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks (gorgeous breasts) present Best Screenplay. Slumdog is probably the front runner, and it has my vote. And it wins! Jai Ho! I have no idea what that means by the way, but it's infectious. At least tonight Dev Patel is here and he looks adorably excited.

9:21: Amy Poehler, the divine one, and Patrick Dempsey, the haired one, present Best Actor in a miniseries or comedy. I hope Alec or Steve win, they are quite fabulous. Alec wins and it is well deserved. He keeps it short and sweet and a little sarcastic. Tina Fey also does a hand motion that suggests drunkenness and is confirmed by her hair, which has fallen down a bit and looks like she's been rolling around in the hay. Did you know when you drink alcohol in a tiny dress it goes straight to the hair? Fun fact. Cops don't even need to Breathalyze girls on Prom, they can just look right at the hair and tell.

9:28: Renee Zellweger, looking like Sharon Stone after a bender, introduces a clip for the Reader.

9:30: Megan Fox- trannylicious and Terrence Howard present Actor in a Miniseries or Movie. John Adams the man is probably going to win, but again I must cheer for Ralph because he's the one I know. The winner is John Adams, who comes up from his grave to accept the award. He didn't get this much recognition during his lifetime, but some people make a tv movie and he's on the map again. History is alive and well!

9:33: The divine Glenn Close and significantly less divine Laurence Fishburne present Best TV Series Comedy. Again, 30 Rock v. Office for me. Office showed a better clip, of Dwight "birthing" Michael's/Jan's baby. The winner is 30 Rock, not a large surprise. Tina Fey accepts the award, time to see how drunk she is. Obviously she is totally drunk because she let Tracy Morgan accept, and he was drunk as well. At least he injected some much needed adrenaline into the show.

9:42: Pierce Brosnan presents a clip for Mamma Mia! He has either lost a significant amount of weight or is wearing a first-class tux. Either way, props for possibly losing the gut.

9:44: Kate Beckinsale and Sean Combs (P Diddy to the uninformed) present the best soundtrack. Kate barely talks and is boxed out from the mike by Diddy. I looooove the soundtrack from Slumdog; I immediately bought it from iTunes after viewing the movie film.

9:46: Jane Krakowski of 30 Rock and David Duchovny present Actress- TV series musical or comedy. Go Tina! Work your drunk hair! Tina wins! Let the drunk guessing game begin! "Good gravy". Oh, she's definitely drunk- she's sweaty, swaying and a bit out of breath. Awesome. Still one hour to go, but who's counting? Oh right, me. I sincerely hope that Hugh Jackman works his magic with the Oscars, because this is almost unbearable.

9:54: Martin Scorsese presents Steven Spielberg with the Cecil B. DeMille award. It's gonna be a long one, folks. Any guesses to how long the standing ovation lasts? My guess is 15 seconds minimum, and I will be timing. Man was I wrong. Almost a whole minute, 50 seconds by my generous calculations. 10:05 and he's still talking. There are still so many awards left, and he's already won so many, give us a break already! 10:08 and done. Phew!

10:12: Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman present Best Director. Slumdog is again the favorite. The winner is Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire! His hair proves that he is not drunk but rather is a hobbit-elf, as it is all kerfoufled.

10:16: The always divine Sigourney Weaver presents the clip of Revolutionary Road, and it appears that Kate was massaging Leo's knee under the table.

10:18: Sandra Bullock presents Best Actor in Musical/Comedy Motion Picture. This is a stacked category, with Colin, Dustin Hoffman, Javier, James Franco, and Brendan Gleeson. I could go with any, but my pick is Javier. Colin wins!!! I can't believe it!!! How lovely, and what a perfect role for him to get recognized for. And he's wearing a three-piece suit, which has been a favorite of mine since Sean Connery slipped into one as James Bond.

10:26: Salma Hayek of the perfect floating breasts presents the clip for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, a great film and a perfect showcase for Penelope Cruz as the perfect woman, and Javier as a ladies' man.

10:28: Sacha Baron Cohen presents (amid great cheer and then lots of horrified looks after his off-color jokes) Best Motion Picture Musical/Comedy. My pick is Vicky Cristina or In Bruges. The winner is Vicky Cristina Barcelona!

10:36: Sharukh Khan (sp) and Freida Pinto present the clip for Slumdog Millionaire, my pick for Best Picture here and at the Oscars.

10:37: Cameron Diaz and Mark Wahlberg present the award for Best Actress - Drama. I would love for anyone but Anne Hathaway to win. The winner is Kate, in a double showing! She forgets Angelina's name, somehow (not exactly a common one) and is totally having an out-of-body experience while accepting. It's pretty wild she won Supporting and Lead Actress. Unfortunately this means another long speech. Leo blows a kiss for her to keep all the Titanic fever alive.

10:43: Blake Lively and Rainn Wilson present Best Television Series Drama. Obviously my vote is for Mad Men. Thank goodness it wins and we get to see all the glorious men and women on the stage. I think they are the most attractive cast on television and boy did they prove it tonight. I will try to do a later post with pictures of them, because Elisabeth Moss (Peggy) and Jon Hamm (Don Draper) especially looked fantastic, with January Jones (Betty Draper) a close second.

10:50: Susan Sarandon presents Best Actor in a Motion Picture- Drama. My pick is Brad Pitt for Benjamin Button because he needs more awards show love. Mickey Rourke wins, which is a bit of a shock. He received a standing ovation and I am not exactly sure why, though to be fair I have not seen the Wrestler. He had a fabulous sequined scarf which accented his sunglasses indoors.

10:58: Tom Cruise presents Best Motion Picture Drama, which is leaning heavily toward Slumdog. The winner is Slumdog Millionaire, which has a now overwhelming lead into the Oscars. It really is a great film and is not the ordinary Oscar/awards bait which is part of its appeal to me, and I highly recommend its viewing. Now it's just two weeks until the SAGs and then the nominations come out for the big show!

Overall the Globes were exhausting and way too long, but they weren't totally predictable and threw a few kinks into the Oscar race. Luckily there were the comedic bright spots courtesy of Ricky Gervais, Sacha Cohen and Rainn Wilson who provided much needed relief. Let's hope Hugh Jackman has some tricks up his sleeves for the Oscars to prevent the near snoozefest that happened tonight. Look for corresponding coverage by the brilliant http://prestigepundit.blogspot.com/.