A New Trend?

Men looking like crap. Joaquin (right) did it for real, Ben Stiller (left) took it and ran with it for laughs, and it appears Philip Seymour Hoffman (below) has perfected it. Really? A beanie at the Oscars? Why did you show up?

Worst Dressed, Part Two

Beyonce, terrorizing my dreams once more by wearing this lovely comforter from TJ Maxx.

Vanessa Hudgens, shouldn't be there, shouldn't be wearing that dress or that smug smile.

Miley Cyrus, who knows she should definitely be there and is proving it by wearing a dress that not even a blind man could miss.

Heidi Klum, flattening her enviable figure and trying to look from the neck up like an albino raccoon serial killer.

Reese Witherspoon trying to be "edgy".

Oh, Whoopi. I can't complain. You're wearing cheetah to the Oscars.

Goldie Hawn, giving the female viewers a Public Service Announcement to always use sunscreen and wear a bra (once you're over fifty).

Images found via the Daily Mail.

Worst Dressed, Part One

As a genius said to me on Oscar night, Jessica Biel's boob exploded, and the result is this dress.

Amy Adams: It's a shame she wore that beaded pebble sheath on her neck and her dress got stuck between her boobs (I'm getting word it was meant to look like that... ouch), because she's extremely talented and beautiful.

Kate Winslet: Dress- meh, Hair: Please leave the mullet at home next Oscar.

It's a good thing that Tilda Swinton is fierce as hell, because this bag "dress" on any other would be the death of that actress's career.

Michael Shannon and his hair do a hippie-fied version of Joaquin Phoenix.

Amanda Seyfried: Is that a bow on your hip or are you just happy to see me? (A new personal low for me).

Lisa Rinna, taking the only trend from the eighties not to haunt my nightmares as of yet (big hair) and combining it with the sex appeal of a soccer mom high on Botox.