10 Nominees, 6 Days, God Knows How Many Hours Long...

The Oscars are here! And because we've missed them so much they've decided to reward us with ten Best Picture nominees! When in years past it was down to a frontrunner and an underdog to compete for Best Picture in a field of five nominees, now it's between a frontrunner and an underdog in a field of ten nominees! So twice the fun!!

In all seriousness, let's thank the Academy for giving a movie such as The Blind Side the honor of forcing movie buffs and Oscar pickers to watch a sports movie in the theater (horror!) because it's a serious movie now, y'all. Its DVD case will now say "Nominated for Best Picture" just like Fargo, Citizen Kane, Network, All the President's Men, Star Wars, etc. Only time, and a hefty sense of optimism, will tell if The Blind Side will prove to be as influential as the aforementioned movies.

The Academy will know in just a few short days whether or not their blunt whoring will have paid off in the form of customers begging for more or a hefty sense of regret at what one once was.

Silly Oscars, Tricks Are For Idiots

Today there was Earth-shaking news in the world of entertainment for everyone who cares deeply about movies (It's just me? Moving on...). The Academy Awards, aka Oscars, have inexplicably decided to bump up the number of Best Picture nominees from five to ten. TEN. Considering I thought last year's Oscars included two movies (out of a nominated five) that should never have been near that title, I will say in my kindest words that finding another FIVE movies to fill the new void is going to be troublesome at best.

The Academy finally caught on (only five months after announcing nominations! Not bad for them!) that people in the public were "mad as hell and [they] were not gonna take it anymore!" because "their" movies (aka blockbusters, or really just movies that might actually make you laugh a tiny bit instead of just making you sob or roll your eyes the whole way through- I'm looking at you Dances with Wolves). The Academy missed the boat last year by not nominating The Dark Knight or even WALL-E (I don't think they should have nominated WALL-E but at least it was better than The Reader) as they represented high quality movies that are arguably the respective bests of their genres who happened to appeal to a large mass of people. But instead, good ol' Harvey Weinstein and his incessant campaigning had to go on and remind voters (who are very, very old) that the Holocaust did indeed happen, was a horrible event, and they should celebrate it and Kate Winslet being the possible most nominated loser by nominating it for Best Picture, which they kindly did.

So now the Academy is trying to mea culpa it's way out of it by adding five more slots to the Best Picture lineup. I say, why stop there? If they're so eager to boost viewer membership/caring by adding movies that people will have actually heard of in large theater chains while simultaneously boosting revenue/losing credibility by letting "NOMINATED FOR BEST PICTURE" be on every forseeable DVD cover from now until eternity, why not let Flavor Flav host and let the ceremony be sponsored by Coca Cola? That, I can guarantee, will bring in viewers. Especially when they cut to the money shot of Martin Scorsese knockin' back a Coke and winking into the camera lens. The type of advertisement money can buy, because it did (in my imagination).

So, since there are now ten nominees I wanted to get a headstart on the competition and list my picks for the ten nominated pictures for the year 2009. I have to start this soon so I can actually watch all of them. It's hard to schedule in ten movies before the ceremony.

1. (Winner) Nine- The Musical
2. Shutter Island (Scorsese)
3. Broken Embraces (Almodovar)
4. Public Enemies
5. Where the Wild Things Are
6. Julie & Julia
7. Inglourious Basterds
8. The Hangover (my pick)
9. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Michael Bay will finally be an Oscar-nommed producer!!)
10. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (sleeper hit of the fall!)

Blockbuster Rundown: X-Men Origins: Wolverine vs. Star Trek vs. Terminator: Salvation

The three most prototypical blockbuster movies to come out so far, all focusing on rebooting old franchises and providing lots of action with minimal female involvement are X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Star Trek & Terminator: Salvation (heretofore known as W, ST & TS). I had highest hopes for W, being that I love Hugh Jackman (but really, who hates him?) and thoroughly enjoyed two out of the three X-Men movies (X-Men 3, is shameful at best). I had a very low hopes for ST because I am not a Trekkie and feel lukewarm feelings toward JJ Abrams because of how he ruins things when he gets bored with them (Vampire zombies on Alias, the decline of Lost, the all-out rape and murder of MI:III etc.). I had nonexistent feelings for TS because I apparently have not seen the first Terminator nor did I subject myself to T3, and I thought it was odd that Christian Bale would charge himself with rebooting yet another franchise in such a visible role.

My belated New Year's Resolution was to try and not watch movie trailers, because I noticed they were taking away the surprise of seemingly every movie I saw. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button really did me in, because though the movie is 2.5 hours long, they apparently showed little snapshots of all the main sequences of the movie, including ones that should have been left to surprise such as the de-aging of Brad Pitt and his exploration of hotness while on a motorcycle. I was able to completely avoid seeing the movie trailers for all three of these blockbusters, and I have to say it's really nice to feel genuine surprise when watching a movie. So basically, my hopes from paragraph one about each of the movies was just from me knowing the bare bones plot and stars of each film. Please note, spoilers from each movie ahead, please don't hate me if your eyes stray and find out something you don't want to know.

Let's start with W even though I saw it second of the three. As you can tell by his aggressive stance in the poster, Hugh Jackman is very angry about something. In a remarkable twist of fate he is born sickly and the man he thinks is his father is not. The man who actually is his father ends up killing the pretend father, of course then prompting Hugh as a young child to kill his real father and exhibit his powers for the first time, but instead of metal coming from his hands they are disgusting bone (it's really gross). He then runs away from home with his brother, later played by Liev Schreiber, and they go on to fight every main war together, all the while staying alive and not aging because they both have healing properties that suggest immortality. They eventually are selected for an elite fighting unit and join other mutants to perform black ops jobs. During this time Hugh becomes increasingly concerned that Liev is too aggressive, so he eventually quits the black ops team (which includes Ryan Reynolds in an all-too-brief highlight of the movie and [sigh] rapper will.i.am) in Africa, and Hugh begins a "normal" life as a lumberjack in Canada with a lady to boot.

Fast forward several years and dubious plot explanations later (where Wolverine got his nickname- much dumber and less straightforward than you think) and suddenly Hugh thinks Liev has killed his lady and will stop at nothing to kill him, despite the fact that they both share the same immortality-esque genes. So Hugh undergoes the famous adamantium injections to turn his bone extensions into metal extensions, almost dies, escapes in the nude without showing full frontal (sigh), eventually finds out his lady's alive, introduces far more possible spin-off characters along the way and finally is at the climax of Three Mile Island where apparently the settled-on bad guy William Stryker keeps mutants hidden because no one goes poking around nuclear sites. Righttttt. An epic battle ensues where at first Hugh and Liev are fighting and then they put brotherly squabbles aside ("Back to Back!") to join forces against the ultimate soldier Deadpool, a combination of multiple mutants in a similar bodily form of Ryan Reynolds who can do all kinds of crazy things. Long story short, Hugh saves the mutants but not his lady, is shot by Stryker with adamantium which removes his memory, is unresolved with his brother and possibly (?) beheads Deadpool.

I could tell the movie would be bad during the during credits montage of the wars they were involved in, but how bad is remarkable. Liev really overacts to an impressive extent here, and Hugh, despite being the best part of the movie (which is not saying much) is still brought down by the horrible direction and bile-infested script. The movie seems more eager to introduce more spinoff characters than to explore what it means to be Wolverine, as he sometimes feels like a sideshow to the main act of mutants doing their crazy tricks. Most of the battle sequences are totally unrealistic, including one where Hugh basically punches out a helicopter. It might be fun to watch if it wasn't so achingly bad to listen to, and if you didn't realize how much money the movie made and that some of the actors are clearly taking it very seriously. I would feel bad for Hugh because not only is he the star but he is the producer, but the movie made so much money and is having at least two sequels with just him, not counting two other possible spin-off characters, that I just feel bad for the future audiences.

Star Trek tells the story of how Captain James T. Kirk and Spock came to be, starring Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto of Heroes as the anchors of this reboot. Apparently during his younger years Kirk felt the need to rebel for his late father's selfless heroics by being an a-hole, driving a car off a cliff, getting in fights and chasing the ladies. In spite of his rebellion the current captain of the Enterprise sees his father's good qualities in him and suggests he try out for Starfleet where his ego inevitably clashes with Spock. Quinto's Spock is the real star of this movie and I really can't praise him enough- if he plays his cards right he may well become a superstar. The bare bones plot is that Kirk quickly ascends and correctly predicts a crisis on the planet Vulcan by a crazy Romulan (Eric Bana) who has taken tattooed inspiration from Mike Tyson. There are some cliches throughout the movie, the most annoying being the shaky cam that has become so popular post-Bourne. It doesn't really make sense if two characters are just talking and the cameraman has a case of Parkinson's. Also, there is a near-constant reflective light that is on screen whenever they're on the Enterprise, which breaks the fourth wall and is distracting at best, especially for the amount they do it. There is far too much Tyler Perry- he should have never been given such a large speaking role- but Leonard Nimoy was a necessary addition as he provided a clean transition from the old to the new. (The good thing about the cameos is that there are four from Alias. I nearly cried with happiness).

Considering I'm not a Trekkie I thoroughly enjoyed myself but with major hesitations. Anton Yelchin's Chekhov is so annoying that I couldn't believe he received so much screen time and there are some lowest-common-denominator humor sequences that seemed unnecessary (oh, he hit his head on the low ceiling, how hilarious). Also, how the hell does the Golden Gate Bridge still exist when this takes place? But I digress. Star Trek does not deserve the astronomically high rating it's received on Rotten Tomatoes, but it is enjoyable and worth the price of admission, and Quinto and Pine will probably make a great team together in the years to come.

And finally, Terminator: Salvation. Christian Bale plays John Connor, son of Linda Hamilton in T2 and supposed savior of Earth from the machines. Apparently he can't get over the Dark Knight, because his much-discussed gravelly voice has survived the franchise switch and he growls in every scene, even though by no means is it necessary (it's just distracting). Even though he is the star and his character is the most important to the series, the film opens and is subsequently stolen by Aussie actor Sam Worthington, pictured below at right.

He is a double-murderer about to be lethally injected when a terrifying-looking Helena Bonham Carter comes and asks him if he will donate his body to science, possibly to help her solve her cancer. He agrees and is killed, and once the film fast forwards to the future we see his well-preserved body in a cave where Connor and his crew are investigating the new possibility of robot- one that looks eerily similar to a human. Just as Connor goes to tell command and leaves the cave, the robots drop a nuclear bomb at his site, killing his crew and launching an all-out assault on the area. Connor survives by flying away, and we are left with the image of Worthington exiting the cave screaming, in the nude and covered in mud, not knowing anything but the past.

Besides killing the terminators John Connor is fixated on finding his father, the young man he transports back in time and ends up shacking up with Ms. Hamilton. Worthington reaches him, played by Star Trek's Anton Yelchin, before Connor, and with Worthington thinking it's still the 1990s, has no idea that evil robots are self-aware and have taken over the world. Yelchin saves him and together along with a child sidekick the trio try to find the Resistance. After some crazy fights and a run-in with Kramer vs. Kramer's Jane Alexander (still fabulous!) Anton is captured by a mega-terminator who takes him and other hostages to Skynet headquarters, leaving Worthington to find Connor himself. He runs into a downed pilot (Moon Bloodgood- absolutely stunning, sexy and apparently she can act well) who takes him to Connor.

There it is discovered that he is not himself- that he is (although you were trying your best not to believe the obvious all along) the terminator that Connor discovered in the cave- that he is robot, but with a human heart, brain, and skin. He is captured and tortured, though being a robot this has little effect on him. Eventually Moon helps him to escape and he returns to Skynet where his worst fears are confirmed- he is a robot, though he still fights for his inner human. He heals himself and catches up on what's happened while he's been in a nuclear daze and decides to help the Resistance by rescuing Connor (who's now been captured) as well as the many other humans who are trapped. He does this and ends up saving Connor's life, proving to himself and to the others that although he has robot parts his identity as a human has been maintained.

To my utter disbelief, I hated Christian Bale in this movie. Apart from his voice he seemed to be scatterbrained in his character I found myself sighing whenever he was onscreen. On the other hand, Worthington was an explosion of all things good. He used his screen time wisely and outshone every actor and special effect in the movie. At the end I was wishing he was cast as John Connor, but it could have been that I just wanted to see more of him. The movie itself was sub-par, but that's because I have no patience when it comes to robots. How do they not rust? Why don't they just spray acid on them or melt them? It was nice to see a cameo from Ahnold and have the classic line "I'll be back" come back. The addition of Bryce Dallas Howard as Connor's pregnant wife was an absolute letdown-they had zero chemistry together and I'm not sure why she keeps getting cast in movies. In my opinion the movie was saved from absolute mediocrity by Worthington and to a smaller extent Bloodgood (she's in few scenes). I don't know how they're going to sequels to this without Worthington, but it's almost a guarantee they will suck. Bale should stick to The Dark Knight and occasionally drink some water.

Here are my starred reviews of the movie (out of five):

Wolverine: Entertaining: One star, Goodness/Award-worthy: O stars
Star Trek: Entertaining: 3.5 stars, Goodness/Award-worthy: 2.5 stars, Replay value: 2.5 stars
Terminator: Entertaining: 3 stars, Goodness/Award-worthy: 2 stars

Images found on Google.

The Return of Movie Season

The months between February and May are usually painful for me, because this is the time when movies are not yet blockbusters and have just passed being eligible for the Oscars, so they are not "good" either. When checking over my movie tickets between those months I realized the only movie I saw was "Fast and Furious" (always fabulous), but that was shockingly it. Now that it's May and movie executives feel safe in releasing their big-budget hopefuls, I have seen 5 movies in the span of a month and feel confident in re-establishing my blogging prowess.

Now that I am "back" I will first have a blockbuster roundup of the ones I have seen (Wolverine, Star Trek & Terminator: Salvation), complete my obsession with Powder Blue (it has been fully released on DVD) and return to many of my other segments, including revealing my Crush of the Month, an actor who is About to Burst and give you some tips on DVDs to watch. So I say to you all now welcome back and happy viewing!

Oscar Watch Begins!

My gorgeous friend sent me this and I think it is the perfect way to kick off anticipation for the awards season, or as it is sometimes known, Movie Season. Regardless of The Dark Knight's chances this season, this poster is clever enough to star in its campaign:

I sincerely hope that whoever is advertising for The Dark Knight in the trades comes across this and uses it. It would be a breath of fresh air and could bring even more positive attention to a movie that is poised already for an unheard-of nomination amount from a simple "action movie."


Image via joshmc at http://fanartexhibit.wordpress.com/2008/12/03/my-support-for-the-dark-knights-oscar-bid/