Liveblogging the Oscars!

6:35 pm: Sierra Mist Free in hand, I am now watching E! The Excitation Network and their coverage of the red carpet. Kevin Kline and wife Phoebe Cates (red bikini scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High), who is wearing red- thank god, are charmingly boring as they announce Slumdog was their favorite Best Picture nominee. And... oh my god! Lou Gosset, Jr. is totally there! I can't remember any Oscars without him, he is a true Officer and a Gentlemen (ish). They relegated Giuliana to a skybox after her horrible questions at the SAG Awards (she asked Brad and Angelina how each of them made them "deeper and richer" as a man/woman respectively. It was beyond awkward).

6:44 pm: The Slumdog kids! Youngest Salim doesn't speak English and all the kids look super adorable and dressed up in their mini-tuxes and mini-gowns. It's sad to say that that may be the highlight of the red carpet night for me. Now, Anil Kapoor and oldest Salim (who looks ridiculously hot with less hair) and the non-torturing guard are all here, and they look totally amazed (I can't blame them). The keep showing teasers of stars, and from what I can gather Melissa Leo and Freida Pinto look perfect.

6:50: Jay Manuel (in a white dotted tux) glamastrates Taraji P. Henson. I hate glamastration... Dev Patel and Freida! Yes! Freida is in brilliant blue John Galliano and Dev brought his sexiest British accent. They successfully dash the romance rumors while being adorable. They should probably start making babies about ten minutes from now. They bring in John Legend, what a random shout-out. Is he singing? I guess I will see. And now he will be interviewed, because Ryan will interview anyone attractive or famous (can be mutually exclusive). He likes Slumdog the best and looks nice in a brown tuxedo.

6:54: Melissa Leo the grand will be interviewed, and she has almost Farrah hair with a lovely bronze dress. Ryan is asking her dull questions, what weakness. He's just shuffling people through, so now it's Danny Boyle. He looks less hobbit-ish than usual and he's already loosened his tie. It's going to be a looong four hours for him. Viola Davis is in a shocking gold dress that looks like a sibling of JLO's Globes dress (not a compliment, but it's not as bad). She looks so different from her character it's silly.

7:00: Taraji P. Henson, nominated for Best Supporting Actress, has the night's best necklace (I'm going to call it ahead of time). Her face and hair look flawless, and she is currently pulling her dress up (to the thigh) to show her ankle. It's about time for some serious skin, no one's had any real cleavage yet (I feel deprived). Sigh.

Michael Shannon from Revolutionary Road is now being interviewed and he has hippie hair. He almost looks better as his character, and his voice is way too mellow. Oh well, he did a great job and is probably super excited to be there.

Heidi Klum and Seal are ready to party and Heidi's hair looks like a wet seal, all slick and straight. However, her dress is lovely, red origami-like with a huge slit up the side, which she said makes her sit "on one butt cheek" so she doesn't reveal her ladybits.

7:09: Michael Sheen, the underappreciated star of Frost/Nixon (hint: he's not Nixon) is there looking dashing with curly hair. It's too bad he wasn't nominated in lieu of Frank Langella (hint: he's not Frost).

Richard Jenkins, Best Actor nominee for the Visitor is now being subjected to Ryan's dull outer thoughts. Quick visual: he's not wearing his glasses (hot!). Jay Manuel just glamastrated again; it's incredibly annoying. The Oscars are not a game, and the actresses deserve more than to be drawn on with a pen. I am not a fan.

Amanda Seyfried from Mamma Mia is now speaking semi-intelligently, and she's gone and replaced by Amy Adams of the Huge Necklace. Ryan just called her character pure (she was a nun, it's not rocket science) and asked her if she was as pure as her character. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to journalism hell.

7:15: And he's interviewing Robert Pattinson, who definitely needs to be there. At least he's hot and is a Harry Potter alum (what what Cedric!). He looks like he showered and has a good intense face, which is helpful and is counteracting the lack of cleavage.

Immediately following him are Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick, who also need to be there. Because who would I make fun of. Luckily for her the horsiness is at a minimum in her Dior Haute Coutoure princess dress. Hell, she almost looks like an attractive woman, good for her and her people. Matthew has a surprising amount of gray hair, but he's still taller than her so he wins.

Seth Rogen, who is allegedly in a short movie that will be shown tonight, and laughed that he was the transition after SJP, injecting much-needed humor into the infection of yeast that is Seacrest. He then pans to the skybox where Giuliana is stranded, hopefully so she cannot offend anyone else.

7:25: Marisa Tomei somehow does not look like total crap in a one-shoulder white dress. Someone must have taken pity on her and styled her. Ryan is verbally glamastrating and pleading for Mickey Rourke, who I've never seen without sunglasses. He's wearing a Jean-Paul Gaultier off-white three piece suit with a necklace of his deceased dog, Loki, around his neck. His hair looks pretty normal and his face looks the best I've seen it.

7:29: Diane Lane and Josh Brolin are now being subjected to torture, as Ryan asks him why the story of Harvey Milk was important to tell *cough* idiot *cough*. Josh counters (after explaining as if to a three year old, which Ryan is) that he wants to portray Ryan in a movie.

Queen Latifah is next and looks lovely, but Ryan ruins it by bringing up her work on Sesame Street. I'm ignoring the glamastration of Anne Hathaway because it combines two things that should not be at the Oscars at all.

7:33: Ron Howard is telling little anecdotes at Frost/Nixon and is remarkably able to keep his spirits up even with Ryan's barrage of nonsense, which continues with him asking about the Arrested Development movie for the eightieth time.

Peter Gabriel, Best Song nominee for WALL-E, is speaking kind of softly and allows me to tune him out (I am eternally grateful)... that's over, and the hangover starring Evan Rachel Wood has begun. She looks pretty nice (still not better than Christina Hendricks) and her fake eyelashes are superb. Now Ryan is asking about her singing instead of, you know, pertinent things.

7:41: Penelope Cruz and her perfect broken English are now being interviewed and have exited quicker than you can say please-let-her-win-tonight. She is replaced by last year's Best Actress winner for La Vie en Rose Marion Cotillard, whose English has improved greatly and is cooing about how much she loves Penelope and being an Oscar winner.

7:52: Kate Winslet and her mullet are "very nervous, actually" and she doesn't have a speech, apparently, to the detriment of us all. She got advice from her children on what to say, and they encouraged her to be emotional (as if she needs the encouragement). I expect if she wins that she will just dissolve into a puddle of emotions. Apparently she's on the cover of this week's TIME as "Best Actress- Why it's Kate". It would be kind of hilarious if she didn't win and the TIME editor had to explain his irrational thinking and jinxing.

7:58: Ryan was able to shout a question a Brad about how he felt to be there, how awkward. Robert Downey, Jr. is left to scrape up Ryan's heart from the carpet floor and he looks amazing. And.... it's over! Now to ABC's coverage with Tim Gunn and Tim Gunn, on HD!

8:00: Robin Roberts looks beyond fierce with an almost bald head and toned arms. The first guest is Kate, who does not look so good in HD, and Robin tells her not to be so emotional (from her mouth to God's ears, I say).

More Josh Brolin and Diane Lane, she, on the other hand looks flawless in HD. It turns out that SJP's dress has a belt which is unfortunate, but she still looks good.

Tim on Angelina!! He got to greet her! Yay him. He loves her so much, but then again so does everyone. Less than thirty minutes till the big show, how exciting.

8:14: Viola is being interviewed again, and I wonder if she has ever been interviewed without somebody mentioning Meryl's name. Miley Cyrus is now there for no apparent reason other than shock value in a dress straight out of a sequined colonic explosion. She is followed by Anne Hathaway, who is working her poise in a classier version of Miley's sequins.

8:20: Meryl and her gorgeous daughter are being interviewed by not Tim Gunn and they both look phenomenal. She is followed by Penelope's magical wedding dress and the detail is amazing. Tim Gunn said it well "Penelope Cruz, dressed for a win." Perfecto!

8:24: Leslie Mann looks amazing, accompanied by Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow. Less than five minutes remain!!

8:30: Let's get this party started! Crystalsssssss. And the lovely Hugh Jackman, what a perfect combo. He and his accent are perfect and well tanned. It sounds like there's a laugh track in the background which is quite unfortunate. Oh, dear. Dancing. At least the Benjamin Button skit is fairly humorous. And Anne has changed her dress for her planned skit. Her new dress is a major upgrade. Oof, her Nixon impression is not so good. It really sounds like canned laughter, it's disturbing me. And more dancers in futuristic costumes. Now he's putting kneepads on his tux which is fairly classic to make fun of The Wrestler. And the music number is over, I feel a bit relieved. Hugh is gallivanting through the audience like Dean Martin on a booze cruise and he's doing pretty well with the jokes.

8:42: A ton of Best Supporting Actress winners will present the award: Eva Marie Saint, Whoopi Goldberg, Goldie Hawn, Tilda Swinton, and Anjelica Huston. They are standing as if in a cult, apart and eerily poised. They all look amazing and all the nominees are tearing and shaking. It must be hell to wait through all this to see if they win. Not showing any clips is a bit like torture, but it's always pleasant to hear a shout-out of Sister Act by Whoopi (Leopard print! Purple sunglasses!). Tilda Swinton's face matches her dress and is the very definition of fierce. And the winner is... (I hope Penelope)... Penelope!!!!!! Hallelujahhhhh. Her wedding dress was not for naught. Oh she is crying and about to faint, how adorable. Her cleavage looks so lovely (can you tell I have boobs on the mind). She thanks Woody, Almodovar and her family beautifully without losing it and without speaking muddily. What a lovely way to start off the evening, with me being one for one (and her winning).

8:52: The award is presented by Tina Fey (absolutely stunning) and Steve Martin with funny voiceovers and they make fun of Scientology (brilliant!) for Best Original Screenplay. If In Bruges wins I will leap and dance, but Milk will probably win and writefully (get it!) so. Dustin Lance Black wins for Milk and looks quite dashing in his tuxedo. Sean Penn looks as though he will cry, it's quite moving. Lance appears to be inches from tears.. oh dear, he may not make it. It's very touching and he is a great follow-up to Penelope's heartfelt speech.

And Tina and Steve are back to present Adapted Screenplay. My choice is Slumdog, but if it does not win it may not win Best Picture tonight, and if it does, domino effect begins. And the winner is...Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire! Hurrah and hooray! Simon is wearing a necklace sash of sorts to make himself stand out. His speech is short and fairly sweet, and well done for Tina and Steve who should really be hosting the show (no offense to Hugh).

9:03: Jennifer Aniston and Jack Black present Best Animated Feature. The producers have enough restraint to wait to pan to Angie until right before the amalgamation of animated features (with hard rock!) are presented. In other news, Jennifer's hair has gone hippie. I'm sure it will be the news of the night, but they're all adults and nothing happened so everyone but the bloodthirsty media wins. And the winner is...(it's going to be WALL-E, it's the sure thing of the night)...WALL-E. Andrew Stanton the writer and director accepts and he is wearing a velvet suit and thanks his high school drama teacher as if right out of In & Out. Short and sweet, just how I like it.

Jen and Jack present Best Animated Short, and they pan to Brad and Angie again (to be fair, she was in Kung Fu Panda with Jack). And the winner is...who knows... La Maison en Petit Cubes, which looked like it had pretty animation in the previews. Kunio Kato accepts with extremely broken English but is very endearing as he says "Domo arigato Mr. Roboto". Hilarious (it's pee-your-pants worthy for the Oscars). What a great way for animated short to be remembered.

9:15: Sarah Jessica Parker and Daniel Craig present the award for Art Direction. Her boobs are out of control, as is his hotness. Benjamin Button will probably win, but Revolutionary Road was also excellent and The Dark Knight would be a great and deserved spoiler. And the winner is... The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Donald Graham Burt and Victor Zolfo accept and are clearly thrilled, both with the award and SJP's dress.

9:19: The duo now presents the award for Costume Design. The Duchess, being the ultimate period piece, is destined to win but Revolutionary Road's outfits were exquisite. And the winner is... The Duchess. Michael O'Connor accepts and is overwhelmed while somehow being underwhelming. He is Debbie Downing all the great heartfelt speeches of the previous awards.

9:22: Now they are presenting Makeup (three awards for SJP? Really, Oscar?). My pick is a toss-up between Benjamin and TDK. And the winner is... The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, as accepted by Greg Cannom. His speech is nice and SJP is now off the stage.

9:25: Robert Pattinson and Amanda Seyfried stare intensely into the camera and are not funny. They are presenting a time fluffer of romance from 2008 in movies. Coldplay's song sounds nice in it and the multiple flashbacks from Vicky Cristina Barcelona are quite excellent. They're barely featuring Milk which is unfortunate. So much kissing! I could watch those Slumdog kids all day.

9:31: Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller present Best Cinematography, with Ben dressed as Joaquin circa Letterman (fabulous!).The audience is quite restrained, probably feeling awkward. Natalie is lovely and perfect and Joaquin/Ben is super amazing. I'm pretty impressed with the first hour of the Oscars. It's quite a mixed bag, Benjamin Slumdog or TDK could all win and I would be happy. And the Oscar goes to... Anthony Dod Mantle for Slumdog Millionaire. The reign begins. He tries to be funny and fails but rebounds with a nice speech.

9:39: Jessica Biel presents the Sci Tech awards dinner held two weeks ago.

9:42: Seth Rogen and James Franco star in a Pineapple Express spoof of some of the best pictures of the year, nominated or not. It is hilarious, and so far I am very impressed with what the Academy has offered me.

9:45: Seth Rogen, James Franco, and Janusz Kaminski present Best Live Action Short. I picked Toyland, but really who knows. And the winner is... Spielzugland (Toyland). In other news, I'm a genius. Germany AufGerman accepts while his wife freaks out. I'm dying, it's fifteen minutes until Best Supporting Actor (aka if Heath Ledger doesn't win I will flip) and I can't handle the waiting.

9:51: Hugh sings again, this time accompanied by the unfortunate Beyonce whose beaded leotard has a tail in front. They are paying homage (slowly ruining) previous musicals. Great, now Vanessa, Amanda and Zac are joining in. Perfect. To quote Biggie, I'm ready to die and nobody can save me. This has really put a damper on the evening in a huge unfashionable way. In some ways it's worse than I thought, and boy was I not expecting much. Penelope's raised eyebrow at the end says it all. Unnecessary, but fortunately short. Moving on...

10:01: The big award. Needless to say I am trembling, with the results either being a combination of sorrow and joy (Heath wins) or utter desolate sorrow for a long time (he loses). Christopher Walken, Kevin Kline, Cuba Gooding Jr, Alan Arkin and Joel Grey (Cabaret, Alias(!)) present the award. Deep breaths. O dear god. Philip Seymour Hoffman is wearing a beanie. To the Oscars. John Mayer is next to Diane Lane in the audience, what a crazy pairing (He's with Aniston). Cuba is quite funny introducing RDJ, a nice relief from the tension. Christopher's hair matches Michael's. And Heath wins!!! His family accepts and I am sobbing like a newborn kitten, what a relief. How the hell can they follow that.

10:11: Best Documentary feature. My pick is Man on Wire. I wish it was a commercial so I could have a break. Bill Maher presents the award in a lovely suit. He acknowledges the moment by saying "everyone is crying and I have to go on." He tones down his humor which is quite a relief. And the winner is... Man on Wire! James Marsh accepts and orders the subject Philippe up and he is adorable in a white scarf and performs a magic trick, first by disappearing a coin and then by balancing an Oscar on his nose.

10:16: Maher presents Best Documentary Short Subject. God, I need a commercial, I sweat through my t shirt with the anticipation. Nonetheless, the show must go on and I picked Smile Pinki (coolest name). I guess I'm a genius, because I won again. For awards I know nothing about I always pick the one with the coolest name because they're usually foreign. I'm 1 for 2 in those categories, not too bad so far.

10:23: Fight scene montage! Sweet action, guys. Will Smith appears afterward "because he loves action movies." Never would have guessed Hancock-Wild Wild West-Men In Black/II-Independence Day. He presents Visual Effects to Benjamin Button, which was all but a lock.
Will now is presenting "boom goes the dynamite" Outstanding Sound Editing. I hope TDK wins at least one of these. And the winner is The Dark Knight's Richard King!! Yay!!

Now for Sound Mixing, again presented by Smith. Again, my pick is TDK. And the winner is... Slumdog Millionaire! It appears it and Benjamin are the last ones standing for Best Picture, with Slumdog the heavy lead.

Will again for Best Film Editing. My pick is TDK but Slumdog will probably win. And the winner is... Slumdog Millionaire's Chris Dickens. It seems like they're running a bit over as there's less than an hour to go with Best Actor and Actress, Director, Picture, Foreign Film, In Memorium, Original Score, Original Song and Jerry Lewis's tribute still to go.

10:42: Eddie Murphy (Norbit) presents Jerry Lewis with the Humanitarian award. He does a shockingly short speech, maybe he knows they're way over. Still kickin'!

10:51: Original score is presented. My vote is for Slumdog. And the winner is presented by Zac Efron and Alicia Keys, and who better I say. The Oscar goes to... AR Rahman for Slumdog! He's super adorable. The Best Original Song is also presented by the duo. I am rooting for M.I.A. and AR Rahman's O... Saya. Now he's singing! How perfect!! It doesn't look like M.I.A. will perform, much to my chagrin. Oh, well, it still sounds great. John Legend is singing "Down to Earth" from WALL-E and it sounds better than the real thing (Peter Gabriel sang it originally). Last is Jai Ho also from Slumdog with AR singing (adorably) again. And the Oscar goes to... Jai Ho! Poor M.I.A., oh well, at least she's an Oscar nominee. It's super impressive that AR Rahman bookended his performances with acceptance speeches, quite the task. 5 awards to go!

11:05: Liam Neeson and the perfect Freida Pinto present Best Foreign Language Film. I picked Waltz with Bashir. And the Oscar goes to... Departures from Japan, quite the spoiler. Waltz and The Class got the most attention, who knew (I certainly didn't- genius status revoked). Japan is having a killer night-both in adorable speeches and winning (not in that order).

11:10: Queen Latifah sings for In Memorium.

11:18: Sid Ganis isn't making a speech, hallelujah! Reese Witherspoon presents the Best Director. Her eyeshadow matches the dress, which is never a good choice if you're not from Jersey. My choice is Christopher Nolan I mean Danny Boyle. Poor Dark Knight. In other news, there's 11 minutes left with the 4 biggest awards to go. It's laughable to imagine it being on-time. And the Academy Award goes to... Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire. He's jumping like Cuba! He said he would receive the award as Tigger to his kids a long time ago, which is fabulous.

11:24: Best Actress is presented by five previous winners: Sophia Loren (boobs!), Shirley MacLaine, Halle Berry, Nicole Kidman, & Marion Cotillard. The ladies get a standing ovation and they all look amazing, all to the tune of the theme of Gone with the Wind. My vote is for Meryl Streep, who was simply stunning as Sister Aloysious in Doubt. Shirley presents Anne, who barely holds in the tears. Marion presents Kate, who is clearly a lost cause emotion-wise. Halle presents Melissa Leo, from one independent movie sister to another. Sophia, the goddess, the perfect, presents Meryl, and what an honor for Meryl. Hand cocked on her hip, Sophia works it with better cleavage than most women could even dream of, and Meryl being the fellow goddess she is doesn't cry. Nicole presents Angelina, and almost looks human (great for her!). Angelina looks way too cool, but it seems she's breathing quickly (nervous? Angelina? never). The Academy Award goes to Kate the Mullet, who gets a standing O. Angelina lets Kate touch her arm, now Kate is truly the winner. She's not crying yet, there may be hope. She is no longer the biggest loser, good for her. Ricky Gervais was totally right, do a Holocaust film and you will win an Oscar.

11:35: Best Actor (five over already) as presented by Robert DeNiro, Ben Kingsley, Anthony Hopkins, Adrian Brody, & Michael Douglas (they also got a standing O, though not for as long because they're not Sophia). My pick is Mickey Rourke, but it's a wild one. It's basically between him and Sean, so flip a coin and choose for yourself. Michael presents Frank Langella as Nixon. Bobby DeNiro presents Sean and is either wearing a perfect suit or has lost weight (I'm going with suit). Adrian presents Richard Jenkins while looking like a mountain man (I had no idea Jews could be mountain men- fabulous). Anthony presents Brad Pitt, and they starred together in Meet Joe Black and if I remember correctly Legends of the Fall. Ben Kingsley presents Mickey who looks so nervous he's shaking, and is introduced as "the returning champ." And the Oscar goes to... Sean Penn for Milk, who gets another standing ovation (he got one for Mystic River as well, his second win). Screenwriter Lance Black is crying and Sean is clearly tickled. He tones his rhetoric down and makes a lovely speech.

11:47: The last award! Steven Spielberg presents Best Picture (17 minutes over). My pick is for The Dark Knight, I mean Slumdog Millionaire. They link the movie's themes with previous nominees, which turns out quite clever and pleasing. And the Oscar goes to... Slumdog Millionaire!!!! They get a standing O and are clearly thrilled, as it appears the entire cast and crew are on the stage crying and hugging. The kids are so adorable!! Anil, the host in the movie, takes the Oscar and pumps it in the air, what a lovely end. And only 25 minutes over. Phew. I'm so relieved.

The Oscars

I am liveblogging them... starting now! Be sure to check back after the show and in the next few days to see my full coverage and my analysis of the outfits!

Razzie Winners Announced!

Last night, on Oscar eve, the Razzie winners were announced, or those who pursued excellence stubbornly any way they thought best, without consulting others or thinking of the American audience in general. Click on these links to refresh your memories on the short and long lists of Razzie nominees.

Worst Picture: The Love Guru
Worst Actor: Mike Myers, The Love Guru
Worst Actress: Paris Hilton, The Hottie and the Nottie
Worst Supporting Actress: Paris Hilton, Repo! The Genetic Opera
Worst Supporting Actor: Pierce Brosnan, Mamma Mia!
Worst Screen Couple: Paris Hilton and either Christine Lakin or Joel David Moore, TH&TN
Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel: Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Worst Director: Uwe Boll, Postal, In the Name of the King, 1968: Tunnel Rats
Worst Screenplay: The Love Guru, written by Mike Myers and Graham Gordy
Worst Career Achievement: Uwe Boll (Germany's Answer to Ed Wood)

The winners are well-deserved, and I had a good giggle when I read that Indiana Jones and Pierce Brosnan won their respective Razzies: two older actors trying to do something that is not in their element- Pierce trying to sing, and Indiana trying to resurrect a series that should have stayed in the grave. I sincerely hope these awards will help Paris Hilton rethink her "career" choices and will decide that instead of acting she will go into hiding. Preferably not in America. Congratulations all!

Image found via Google Images.

Spirit Awards- Possible Template for the Oscars?

Tonight were the Independent Spirit Awards, which aired live on the Independent Film Channel and will be broadcast with editing on AMC. The Spirits are the awards show where all the actors are in casual dress and look like they just stepped off the beach (maybe some did).

The winners tonight were:

Best Picture: The Wrestler
Best Actor: Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
Best Actress: Melissa Leo, Frozen River
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Supporting Actor: James Franco
Best First Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black, Milk
Best Screenplay: Woody Allen, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Director: Tom McCarthy
Best First Feature: Synecdoche, New York
Best Foreign Feature: The Class (France)
Best Documentary: Man on Wire

The Spirits are for smaller budgeted movies only, which is why you see no Dark Knight or Benjamin Button nominations. I'm just thankful that Rachel Getting Married won nothing, because if it was going to win anywhere it would win there, and it shows that there is some humanity/justice in the indie world.

It may be the Oscar bridesmaid...

...but at least at the box office it's the bride. The Dark Knight has now crossed the one billion dollar box office mark with $1.001 billion in the bank, trailing only Titanic (1.84 billion), Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (1.12 billion) and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (1.07 billion).

The movie was re-released in IMAX theatres on the day of the Oscar nominations, anticipating an unprecedented amount for a blockbuster movie (they were right, but not in the ways they were hoping). If Heath Ledger wins on Sunday (my fingers have been crossed since January 21st- side note- my fingers hurt a lot) it is likely that whoever has not seen the movie (Hippies? Post-modern freaks?) will go see it, or if it sweeps all eight nominations (possible but doubtful) then they could see their revenue increase as well. The Dark Knight will have to make a lot of money to catch up to the top three, but it sure would be nice if it somehow beat Pirates 2 (I can't believe people saw that so many times).

Image via Gold Derby.

Rose Byrne Needs to Eat A Sandwich. With Mayo.

Australian actress Rose Byrne is currently lighting up the small screen opposite the heaven known as Glenn Close in Damages on F/X, and has previously been in Troy opposite Brad Pitt and Sunshine opposite Cillian Murphy. And she really needs to eat a sandwich.

My devotion to Damages will be fully expressed at a later blogging date, but the show is currently in its second season, and being a loyal viewer I noticed a radical change between seasons one and two. Rose was already slender, but she now looks as though she will break with the slightest hint of wind. Her arms and legs are so distractingly skinny on the show that I cannot concentrate on her character anymore, I just worry that her eyebrows will eat her face if she doesn't gain some weight soon.

Here are some pictures of her before the second season, circa 2007:

I think this is from the Season 1 premiere party- she looks radiant and happy.

And here are some pictures of her now:

At least Glenn looks fabulous.

As you can see, her arm is half the size of her shirt.

And finally, for my strongest evidence, I present her spine and her shoulders/arms that are half as wide as that of Anastasia Griffith, who in no way is larger than a 2.

Images found via Google Images.

My Favorites from the Oscar Ballot

Unlike my previous Oscar picking post, this one is designed to let you know which movies I found most enjoyable out of all the films nominated. So, since Hellboy 2 is nominated for Best Makeup, I could potentially include it on this list (if I had seen it or liked it- and the answer is neither). Basically, I wanted to remove the stuffiness from the Oscar list and pick out the movies that I want to see ten more times and probably buy. So here goes.

6. Vicky Cristina Barcelona: Written and Directed by Woody Allen, starring Scarlett Johanssen, Rebecca Hall, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz
Nominated for Best Supporting Actress

My idea of this film before I saw it was that it would be primarily about Penelope and Scarlett fighting over Bardem, and that it might be cute and sexy but it wouldn't go much beyond that. As soon as Penelope comes onscreen, she hijacks the film away from the cool aloofness that Scarlett brings and the British neurotic that Rebecca plays (she was previously excellent in The Prestige). Penelope brings much needed life and energy to the film, and also amps the sex appeal up from about a six (on a scale of one to ten) to a thirty-two. And this is with the much-heralded make-out scene with Scarlett being much tamer and more lackluster than previously imagined. Even if I were just watching the film for pure aesthetic enjoyment I would love it because everyone looks so beautiful, but the fact that it has a great story and is well acted makes it one of my favorites of the year.

5. In Bruges: Written and Directed by Martin McDonagh, starring Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Ralph Fiennes
Nominated for Best Original Screenplay

Wildly inappropriate and pee-your-pants hilarious, In Bruges is about two hitmen (Colin & Brendan- both never better) who are forced by their boss (Ralph) to lay low in Bruges, Belgium, which unfortunately for them is the worst and most boring town in the world, but fortunately for us the more it makes Colin miserable, the funnier it gets. If you love laughing about un-politically correct topics in the privacy of your own home, do yourself a favor and rent In Bruges.

4. The Wrestler- Directed by Darren Aronofsky, starring Mickey Rourke, Evan Rachel Wood and Marisa Tomei
Nominated for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actress

Watching Mickey completely invest himself in the character was absolutely addictive, and I felt out of breath after the movie was over because I realized I had been holding my breath worrying for his character and not wanting the movie to end. I'll spare you the rehash of my Best Actor arguments, but let's just say Mickey's so good that at times I forgot Marisa was in the movie. And I really dislike her as an actress.

3. Slumdog Millionaire: Directed by Danny Boyle, starring Dev Patel, Freida Pinto, Anil Kapoor
Nominated for 10 Oscars including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay

As with The Wrestler I will happily spare you with more of my nonsensical Slumdog joy, but I will say that even above the movie, its soundtrack is one of the best I've ever heard (I can't decide whether it's my favorite- the soundtrack to 24 Hour Party People with Steve Coogan is simply amazing and of course anything with Barbra is pure joy to listen to). I hope they can convince M.I.A. to perform on Sunday, because she is the only one who can deflect the nausea being hurled at me from all directions by Beyonce.

2. Man on Wire: Directed by James Marsh and starring Philippe Petit (as himself)
Nominated for Best Documentary.

Man on Wire is a documentary about Philippe's extraordinary desire to walk a tightrope between the Twin Towers when they were just being built in the 1970s. You'll know very quickly whether you'll like the movie or not because it rests on how you feel about Philippe's personality, as he is (obviously) the focus of the film. It explores his journey via pictures and videotapes of him tightroping during that era, and the time is relived through interviews with him and his co-conspirators with a few re-enactments. I have to say I loved this film so much that I wish it was nominated for Best Picture, and even if someone didn't like the personality of Philippe, it would be a hard and cynical person who could not appreciate some of his feats shown in the movie. On Rotten Tomatoes, the movie has been reviewed by 137 critics and it has a one hundred percent positive rating, so you know I'm not totally lying when I say it's amazing. If you pick one movie from this list or only listen to one thing I write, ever, go rent Man on Wire.

1. The Dark Knight: Directed by Christopher Nolan, starring Christian Bale, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman. Nominated for 8 Oscars including Makeup, Sound, Editing, Visual Effects, Cinematography, Art Direction, and Best Supporting Actor.

I'll spare you the rehash of my movie review last year, but after seeing it three times on IMAX and once on Blu-ray, I can safely say that it does not get old.

Images found via Google Images.

More Oscar Predictions

Nate Silver of fivethirtyeight.com, who correctly predicted the presidential election results (not too difficult as it turns out), has decided to list the percentage possibility that each nominee of the major Oscar categories will win. He started with sports and then branched out into other fields, using statistical software and logistical regression to predict things. His Oscar predictions article was published in New York magazine, which you can access here. The illustrations he uses are cool; for example, the picture below illustrates his statistical belief that Slumdog Millionaire has a 99% chance of winning Best Picture at the Oscars on Sunday.


I recommend checking the article out- if nothing else to amp up excitement for the big day. Also, I will be liveblogging the Oscars on Sunday (as I did with the Golden Globes). I do not think it actually posts live, but it will be available at the latest midnight on Sunday. Get your cocktails ready!

Vital Viewing- The Station Agent

I've decided to write a segment about films you may not have heard of that are worth your viewing time (kind of the opposite of Movies You Need Not Watch). The first film is the sweet and soulful The Station Agent, written and directed by Tom McCarthy (an actor, notably from Syriana) and starring Peter Dinklage (30 Rock, Penelope), Bobby Cannavale (Will's Boyfriend from Will & Grace) and Patricia Clarkson (Good Night and Good Luck).

The film is about Finn (Dinklage), who inherits a small train depot in Newfoundland, New Jersey, after his friend and boss dies. A dwarf, he prefers his own company to that of judgmental people (one takes a picture of him while he is shopping), and most of all he loves trains. When he moves to the depot he meets Joe (Cannavale), a rambunctious food vendor whose father is ill and who hates being alone (or at least silence). Completing the trio is Olivia (Clarkson), a scatterbrained artist who is recovering from the death of her son. Though they have very little in common the three forge a bond revolving around the coolness of trains and begin hanging out, and their relationship as well as the ups and downs in their own lives play out for the audience to devour.

Each of the actors are incredibly real and vulnerable in their performances- in fact, even though I've seen each actor in multiple mediums and enjoyed them I found it impossible to separate them from their characters while they were onscreen and could only recall their performances in other movies after the movie was finished. The actors bring such fullness to their characters that the script is totally believable, and it makes the audience invest completely in them and the movie. It is not a particularly sad or happy movie, but it is a total enjoyment to watch and experience. At only about ninety minutes it would be a perfect way to spend a weekend afternoon, and damned if I wasn't already missing the characters as soon as the credits rolled. So I played all the deleted scenes, which I rarely do. Rent The Station Agent, and if you are not totally satisfied with the experience, I will happily listen to you.

Images found via Google Images.

Movies You Need Not Watch: Body of Lies

Body of Lies, released in 2008 and directed by Ridley Scott, stars Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe as CIA agents who are trying to take down a massive terror network in the Jordan area. One would think that seeing those three names above the marquee that there is no way the movie could go wrong, but oh how it does.

I watched it last night and I knew very quickly that it was going to go downhill. First, the movie shows locales on a black screen and changes them very quickly, moving from Manchester, England to Jordan to Washington, D.C. to Dubai in the blink of an eye. If they were intending their audience to be smarter than the average bear, perhaps they should not have advertised it as a movie with tons of explosions and betrayals.

The second crack in the good movie lining came with their physical appearances and accents. Russell is distractingly overweight in the movie and has one of the worst wigs I've ever seen (please see below), along with a vague Southern accent that sounds more like a "fat voice" than a real person from an actual location in the United States.

Then there's Leo. An undeniably handsome man, the hair and makeup people decided to put him in a black greaser wig to match his pube-esque beard, so that he can blend in with the Jordanians (of course). His accent ranges from his normal Leo voice (which would have been fine) to straight Texan, which is an awkward jump to breach when he's supposed to be playing the same character.

Finally, after I got passed the disastrous hair/makeup/accents I actually started to notice the plot. To be fair to the trailer, the movie does deal with betrayals, but they are not nearly as devastating as the filmmakers would like you to believe, and the explosions do not have the shock and awe effect as intended (plus there are very few of them).

Body of Lies is trying desperately to be like Syriana, by forcing complex character status onto each actor and having the audience decide if there are any truly good characters in the movie. The problem of this is that the movie's premise is meant for an action movie, not a thinking movie, and it seems Ridley decided halfway through to switch from action to thinking, and the movie is not nearly as intelligent as Syriana (nor the acting as good) to sustain this. It's sad to think that such talent is wasted so thoroughly, so for better films of the three watch Black Hawk Down (Ridley), The Insider (Russell) and The Departed (Leo) and rejoice in the talents that they are and what might have been had they all put their heads together differently.

Oh, and for extra fun, there are only two women featured in the movie with more than one line of dialogue (and they are featured for less than ten minutes total). Yippee!

Images found via Google Images.

Oscar News: The Night May Be The Death of Me

According to this article from Yahoo! News, Beyonce, Zac Efron & Vanessa Hudgens, Amanda Seyfried & Dominic Cooper (Mamma Mia!) and host Hugh Jackman will all perform a musical number together as directed by Moulin Rouge's Baz Luhrmann.

I understand that the Academy is desperately trying to appeal to younger demographics, but just thinking about how all those voices will sound together makes me have pre-show nausea. I still have nightmares from Beyonce performing all the Best Song nominees several years ago (Her take on a Phantom of the Opera song- even the very idea of it- makes the blood in my ears curdle), and if that did not work why should this?

Plus, the average age of High School Musical fans is tweendom, and why would they care about a stuffy award show anyway. The Academy should at least invite Kanye to perform and be a jackass, because that would at least be interesting if not exactly pertinent to the show. I am still holding out hope that the combination of M.I.A. and AR Rahman will save the day.

Get Ready for the Oscars!

Now that you're all studied up for the Oscars after reading my posts (I'm exhausted, too) here is a printable Oscar ballot and also a fancy Oscar ballot. The fancy one has pictures! Happy picking!

The Oscars show next Sunday, February 22nd, starting at 8:00 pm and will be hosted by Hugh Jackman.

My Picks for Best Picture and Director

Finally, here are my final picks for Best Picture and Best Director. Both categories are in the same order so I have lumped them together. For extra fun, I have a tie for last place in both categories because I do not think these particular movies should have been nominated for Best Picture or Best Director.

5*. (In alphabetical order) The Reader- Directed by Stephen Daldry
The Reader, as I described in my Best Actress post is about an illicit love affair between a middle-aged woman (Kate Winslet) and a 15-year old boy (David Kross, played in later life by Ralph Fiennes) in 1958 Germany. It is the boy's first love affair and it has a profound effect on his life, especially when he finds out about her secret horrible past. The movie is incredibly fractured; the first half centers around the love affair with graphic nudity and sex scenes. The second half is about the betrayal he feels when he finds out about her past and how he reconciles it with their history. It really did not feel like a complete film to me and I have major issues with Kate's performance which anchors the film. This film and the next, in my opinion, should be replaced by either The Dark Knight or The Wrestler, which were whole films that balanced entertainment with goodness.

5*. Frost/Nixon- Directed by Ron Howard

As I mentioned in my Best Actor arguments, F/N portrays the time before and during the famous interviews where the Brit David Frost (beautifully played by not-nominated Michael Sheen) interviewed the legendarily disgraced Richard Nixon (played by first time nominee Frank Langella). What the public wanted was an apology from the former President, and Frost fought hard for this but Nixon was an incredibly adept opponent. Before seeing the movie I had seen the play and the original tapes which were recently released on DVD (Netflix them right now) and needless to say I loved the actual footage but thought the play came off as awkward. I was looking forward to the movie because the subject matter is naturally compelling. The movie, as it turns out, is not. Something does not transfer from actual material to screen, and the filmmakers would have been better off just playing the actual tapes instead of their movie.

3. Milk- Directed by Gus Van Sant


Milk follows the story of Harvey Milk, the first openly gay official elected into office, as played by Sean Penn with a supporting cast of Josh Brolin, James Franco, Emile Hirsch and Diego Luna. The acting could not be better in the movie, and I am still surprised it did not win Best Ensemble at the SAG Awards. That being said, exemplary acting does not necessarily make a great movie, and in this case the movie is very good but it is simply outmatched by my top two picks both in scale and in story. It is extremely well done, but Van Sant's direction is choppy in parts that need to be smooth.

2. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button- Directed by David Fincher

Brad Pitt plays Benjamin Button, a man who ages backwards while exploring themes of death and love with a supporting cast including Cate Blanchett as the love of his life and Taraji P. Henson as his mother. It is unfortunate that the movie is so long and so similar to Forrest Gump (they share the same screenwriter among other things) because it truly is excellent. The Visual Effects, Makeup and Art Direction come together to put together a peerless film to look at, and it upstages the actors at some stages. Any other year I would say this movie is a shoo-in to win because it is the protoypical Hollywood epic that Oscar loves, but this year I am hopeful another movie can take the prize.

1. Slumdog Millionaire- Directed by Danny Boyle


Slumdog Millionaire features an unknown cast including Dev Patel, Freida Pinto, Anil Kapoor and the best child actors I have ever seen on screen to tell the story of how a boy born and raised in the slums can come one question away from winning 20 million rupees in India's version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, a vast sum in India (I have no idea what that translates to here). The film is not unique in its broad theme of love no matter what, but it is unique in how it tells the story. Based on an almost completely dissimilar book called Q & A by Vikas Swarup, Danny Boyle and screenwriter Simon Beaufoy tell the story of the lead character Jamal's life one question at a time, eventually leading up to the finale and the final question in real time. It is such a beautiful and uncynical film, and such a different film to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar that I cannot not embrace it. Slumdog was originally going to be sent directly to DVD, but luckily someone kept the faith and let word of mouth do the rest. Despite the fact that its won so many preseason awards, I still consider it the underdog to win on Sunday because I cannot believe it will actually win. However, I will be very happy if it does.

All images found via Google images.

My Pick for Best Actor

This contest is, for me, by far the most difficult to choose a winner. My top two are so good in their respective movies that I have to say I will be fine if either wins, and I do think it comes down to them- the other three are probably just happy to be nominated.

5. Richard Jenkins- The Visitor

Richard plays Professor Walter Vale, an isolated man who pretends to be busy but is in fact just drifting along in life without any real passion until he finds two immigrants living in his apartment. It is a wonderful role, and it was written especially for Richard, who has been a character actor in supporting roles for his whole career. It is really nice to see an older actor get the respect he finally deserves, and hopefully this nomination will help him see more leading roles. Unless my #1 and #2 split the vote evenly, I think it is very unlikely for him to win but I am happy he was recognized.

4. Frank Langella- Frost/Nixon

Frank plays Richard Nixon during the most famous political interviews of all time that take place after his resignation while he is on the lecture circuit "reducing the presidency to a series of witty anecdotes." Nixon loved money, and when British talk show host David Frost (as played by Michael Sheen) comes along and offers $600,000.00 to interview him, Nixon agrees, thus forgoing the other major interviewers of the time (Mike Wallace, etc.) in the hopes that Frost is a "puff piece" interviewer. Because Nixon is such an indelible figure with an easily recognizable look and accent it is hard to get passed those flaws in the movie if they are not done in such a way where you can ignore them and just enjoy the performance. Frank looks nothing like Nixon, and the voice is almost right, but those two things can be a bit distracting when watching the film. Frank projects a seriousness and a sadness onto Nixon that resonates, but I do not think the role is flashy enough for him to win the big prize.

3. Brad Pitt- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Brad plays the title character, a man born dying who goes out an infant, aging backwards throughout his life. It is such a joy to see him get recognized by the Academy after being woefully ignored in Seven and (especially) Fight Club. Like Langella as Nixon, the role of Benjamin is not flashy; rather, he observes throughout the whole movie- life moves in spite of him instead of around him. I happen to enjoy observing roles which is why he is so high on my list, as well as the fact that he carries an almost three hour movie heavy on visual effects. Brad's skill is not in his quietness as Benjamin (though he is superb in that), but his ability to play an old seven year old, and other phases of his life where his looks and age clearly do not match up. Some Academy voters, however, may not be able to separate the unbelievable visual effects from his performance, which will probably result in his loss.

2. Sean Penn- Milk

Sean plays Harvey Milk, the first openly gay official ever elected in the United States (as city manager for a part of San Francisco) who is brutally murdered by a jealous and failing rival manager. Sean is simply extraordinary in the part, and is especially impressive considering the only major physical changes he goes through to play Harvey are a change of clothing (it was the '70s and Harvey liked tight clothes) and a change in hairstyle. He still looks like Sean Penn, but in an instant he transforms into this incredibly charismatic and warm human being who did so much for so many. This may be shallow, but the only reason I am not picking him as my number one actor is because he already won an Oscar for Mystic River a few years ago. If he had not, I would myself write a letter to the Academy pleading for him to win. That being said, he is certainly a genius enough actor to be awarded with double Oscars, so I will certainly be cheering if he wins.

1. Mickey Rourke- The Wrestler

Mickey plays Randy "The Ram" Robinson, an aged wrestler who is desperate for a comeback and down on his luck and his health. Mickey has both the charisma to pull off being a former famous pro wrestler, entertaining huge crowds, and the sensitivity to play a man who has been broken and battered but refuses to give up. It is an incredible role and I cannot even imagine another actor even thinking about playing it. The fact that this movie has yielded both his first Oscar nomination and his comeback from years of self-destruction makes the movie even sweeter, but in no way is Mickey playing Mickey. There is no mistaking that he is The Ram, as the audience feels every punch he takes, no matter how staged or metaphorical it was.

All images found via Google Images.

My Pick for Best Supporting Actor

These picks are really just a formality, because there is only one name I will accept to hear come Oscar night, and it should be quite obvious. So I have grouped the other four all in the last spot, but still in order, because they in no way come close to my #1.

5d. Philip Seymour Hoffman- Doubt

PSH plays Father Flynn, the priest at the center of the scandal and accusations of pedophilia who is challenged by Meryl's Sister Aloysius. I truly believe he was miscast in this role- I never bought him as a priest and he does not have the acting acumen to go head-to-head with Meryl yet. He is still a wonderful actor, but in the scenes with just the two of them it became painfully obvious how out of his element he was. Even in his scenes at the pulpit preaching, I did not think he had enough power in his voice to command the attention that is necessary for a priest with an audience of hundreds. While I was watching him I was imagining what actors would be better in the role, and that is never a good thing (I settled on Liam Neeson for his voice and stature but am still unsatisfied).

5c. Robert Downey, Jr.- Tropic Thunder

RDJ plays Kirk Lazarus, an Australian hardcore Method actor who undergoes skin pigmentation surgery to become the African American seargent of a Vietnam platoon for a movie. Robert is amazing in the role and it is very different from other characters I've seen him play. Frankly, I'm still amazed he was actually nominated, because Academy members do not love comedies, and it shows you how much they loved RDJ this year to award him for such an unlikely role. Any other year I might be rooting for him simply because it is an outrageous role in an outrageous movie but this year I will try to pick based on merit. He gets to act in a movie within a movie and does it convincingly while wearing blackface, which is nothing short of a miracle. Still, just because he was the best actor in a comedy this year does not make him the winner of BSA, because unfortunately for him this was a great year for dramas and there are three other gentlemen ahead of him.

5b. Michael Shannon- Revolutionary Road

Michael plays John Givings, a mentally challenged neighbor of Kate and Leo in the movie who injects the sole hilarity to the otherwise bleak movie. He was much needed relief, and I wish he was onscreen more. In fact, that is my only problem with his character and the only reason he is not number two, is that he is onscreen for less than twenty minutes in two scenes. During those two scenes however, you forget that this is a movie about Kate and Leo's characters; in fact, you forget altogether that they are in the movie. He steals the scenes with flying colors and I look forward to seeing him in more movies.

5a. Josh Brolin- Milk

Josh plays Dan White, the assassin of Sean Penn's Harvey Milk in the titular movie. Josh has had an incredible two years, and I am still miffed he was not nominated last year in this category (or lead, who knows) for No Country for Old Men. He plays this role quietly but with visibly bubbling aggression and frustration- over not being the star of the city council and not being able to be the man he thinks his family needs. Brolin is perfect for the role and is a near doppelganger for the actual man, but at this point either he needs a strong lead role to win an Oscar or I am afraid he will become the new Johnny Depp or Christian Bale, who consistently turn out incredible performances but rarely are awarded for them. This is not the role he will win an Oscar for, but I am excited he was nominated just the same.

1. Heath Ledger- The Dark Knight

Heath plays The Joker, who menaces Batman and Gotham City through utter chaos and anarchy with no real plan or weaknesses in sight. I've already shared my thoughts about Heath's performance and my parasocial history with him as the first post on my blog here, but I really cannot say enough about this performance. That he erased Jack Nicholson's performance with a single photo is nothing to sneer at, and that he has redefined the popcorn summer blockbuster also helps. Of all my choices, his win is most important to me and likewise his is the only one that will affect me adversely if he loses.

Images found via Google Images.

My Pick for Best Supporting Actress at the Oscars

OK, so today I finally finished seeing all the Oscar movies I am going to see (it was a doubleheader with Revolutionary Road and The Wrestler) so now I can finish all my Oscar picks! As with Best Actress, they are in the order of who I least want to win to most:

5. Viola Davis- Doubt

Viola plays the mother of the boy at the center of the priest molestation scandal in the movie. Since he is the only African American student at the school, she only wants him to be able to stick it out for the year so he can transfer to a great high school. The anguish she goes through is evident, and her ability to put up with some things (possible pedophilia) in order to gain others (a higher education) is a weighty choice and hard to sympathize with. She is also only onscreen for twelve minutes. This gives her time to jolt the screen by giving the audience another perspective and more evidence to consider their doubt about the priest's in/actions, but it does not do nearly enough for me to consider awarding her the Oscar.

4. Marisa Tomei- The Wrestler

Marisa plays Cassady, a stripper who Mickey Rourke's character Randy finds salvation in as an aging wrestler with no real family or friends. I really have never enjoyed Marisa as an actress, and the fact that she plays a stripper with a heart of gold is infuriating, though it technically is not her fault she is playing a stripper, it is the writer's fault (for the record, she could easily have played a waitress, or karaoke singer, or any other job and still have kept her clothes on). That being said, she was nowhere near as annoying as I thought she was going to be, and I totally believed that she was a single mom stripper from Jersey. However, she already has an Oscar and this part does not show enough (though it shows too much in other ways- she's a stripper) for me to place her higher on the list.

3. Taraji P. Henson- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Taraji plays Queenie, the woman who works at a senior care home who takes on the mothering of poor Benjamin Button when he is left at her doorstep as an ew- and awe-inducing old infant. My top three from BSA are really hard to choose from; I would probably be happy if any of them won but there are slight reasons why I have stacked them as I have. Taraji really grounds the film with her constant kindness and giving, and she has a significant role in the film to develop her character. The difference between her and my top two are that while she lights a spark in the movie, my #2 makes that spark sizzle and my #1 sets it on fire. It really is a great role, and I'm glad she has received the attention she deserves from it, but I think another lady will walk away with the statuette come Oscar night.

2. Amy Adams- Doubt

Amy Adams plays Sister James in Doubt, the naive nun who sees kindness in everyone as opposed to Meryl's Sister Aloysius's cynicism. All throughout the movie it is nearly impossible to imagine anyone else playing the part to such perfection without it bordering on cheesiness or cupcakiness (though it sounds delicious). Then, a scene comes along that jolts the character to its core where she confronts Meryl's character and musters the ability to yell at her with no fear and absolute conviction. It is mesmerizing to watch her character become more than just a sweet and good-natured nun and Amy's portrayal had me wishing she was onscreen more (though it was a meaty role for a 100-ish minute movie). Still, even though I loved her in the movie, she is just not enough for my #1...

1. Penelope Cruz- Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Penelope plays Maria Elena, an artist and former lover of Javier Bardem in the movie who just explodes on the screen and keeps it smoldering every second she is on it. When I first saw the movie I thought it would be amazing luck if she were able to be nominated because it's an incredible role (Woody Allen has a great track record with women) and she is exquisite in it. Apparently he wrote the role for her, and thank god she accepted. She is at first the villain in the movie, as Scarlett Johansson and Javier Bardem are falling for each other and she bumrushes their happiness after a suicide attempt. But then the three begin to embark on a menage a trois and the results are glorious. Penelope gives Maria Elena so much life and spark that I think if I met the character I would know all about her and yet still want to talk to her for days. Penelope shows crazy, she shows amorous, she shows creativity, and she does it all while being (by far) the best and most interesting part of the movie, but still by only having the screen time of a supporting character. It's lucky I guess that Kate Winslet was nominated for The Reader in the lead actress category, because as luck would have it Penelope is now the frontrunner come February 22nd.

All images found on Google Images.

My Pick for Best Actress 2008 Oscars

Here is my list (in order from the woman I would least like to win to most) of the Best Actress nominees for this year's Oscars with the corresponding reasons why (and pics!):

5. Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married.


Is she good/capable in the movie? Yes. Is it worthy of an Oscar for her very first nomination? No. Anne plays Kym, a former model who ditches rehab to attend her big sister's painfully diverse wedding and along the way we hear her awkward to the point of nausea-inducing speeches drawing all the attention away from her sister's big day to her tragic needs and insecurity. It turns out that Kym is in the running for Worst Person in the World and she seeks to prove it with every passing scene. I cannot honestly believe that this person would ever exist, and I found myself more in disbelief than in suspension while watching her and I did not end up buying her portrayal or the character herself. And her babbling speeches this award season certainly did not help my feelings.

4. Melissa Leo- Frozen River.


Melissa plays Ray, an abandoned Mom of two who just wants to buy her kids a double-wide trailer to live in, so she happens upon a smuggling ring in Indian territory in upstate New York in order to make extra cash. Considering she has so much going wrong with her life, she remarkably is not a pitiful or pathetic character, unlike Halle Berry in Monster's Ball for example. She recognizes her responsibilities in certain aspects of her story and completes them despite remarkable odds. I probably liked her character and portrayal third best out of five, but I do not think it is a strong enough role this year to win the Oscar (it was a great year in spite of the Writers' Strike).

3. Kate Winslet- The Reader.

Kate plays Hanna, a train toll collector who starts an illicit affair with a 15 year-old boy in Germany 1958 (or thereabouts). It is his first love affair and it lasts a summer, but she leaves him unexpectedly only to be reunited about ten years later while he is studying a trial where she is being tried for exacting unspeakable crimes (but not pedophilia). Kate is nude for approximately the first half of the film, which I am never a fan, especially because in this case it does not do much except to make her out as more of a monster than she already is for taking advantage of this boy with absolutely no regard for his wellbeing. I was convinced that it was Hanna on screen and not Kate, but her portrayal is so non-expressive that I felt I did not even know who she was or have one inkling about her motives in any aspect of her life the film portrays. She seems to be the one to beat this year which I find unfortunate and I am trying not to be too cynical about the possible reasons why.

2. Angelina Jolie- Changeling.


Angelina plays Christine Collins, a single working mother who comes home from work to find her son missing. The police are too corrupt to think they could ever make a mistake and jump on the first missing boy they find who even remotely resembles the description of her son, mostly so they can stop looking for him. She, obviously, recognizes that the returned boy is not in fact her son and continues to stand up to the police until she is thrown in a psychiatric ward for doing so. It goes without saying that Angelina is an excellent actress, but I am always shocked at how quickly I absorb into each new role she takes. I never doubted for a second that she was Christine and I never thought "why is Angelina dressed like a Gibson Girl" because she is able to transform herself, with simple period makeup and dress, into this character. The movie has its weak spots but it is not her failing. It may be the main downside to her international fame is that it is harder for her get the acclaim she deserves for roles such as this.

1. Meryl Streep- Doubt.


Meryl plays Sister Aloysius, the principal of a strict Catholic school in '60s Bronx who is feared by everyone, even though she still lies below the Catholic men in terms of power. Meryl has the uncanny ability as an actress (and a woman) to utterly dismiss someone with the simple snap of her eyes. She excelled in doing this as Miranda Priestley in "The Devil Wears Prada," but here it is a far more severe, far more dangerous dominance. She pulls the viewer toward her in every scene, and makes the other actors, especially Philip Seymour Hoffman, look like amateurs (and no real disrespect is meant by that- she is Meryl after all). She is able to command full attention and give an absolutely defining leading performance all without transforming makeup, without a sob story, and without ever taking pity on herself or expecting more of others than she does of herself. In short, she is my pick for Best Actress of this year's Oscars because Sister Aloysius does not just seem like a real nun you would find in the '60s, she seems like a true and real woman who does what she feels is right and makes no apologies in doing so. Meryl has played such varied characters throughout her fabulous career, and her turn in Doubt will not be forgotten easily by the viewer and hopefully the Academy.

Images found via Google Images.