I finally watched Striptease for the first time after becoming the proud owner of Showgirls: The V.I.P. Edition and I was not disappointed; but rather, I was intrigued as to a) who would win in a stripper showdown and b) which movie is the deserved go-to stripper camp classic?
Showgirls has the street-cred, if you will: The NC-17 rating, the now legendary Razzie status that directly led to the creation of the V.I.P. DVD collection (which includes the DVD, 2 shotglasses, a blindfold, 2 nipple tassles, a poster of Nomi, a deck of playing cards and collectible cards featuring drinking games and fun facts), and the appeal of having a Saved-by-the-Bell alum in its cast.
Striptease, while it received notoriety upon its release, has faded into the unpleasant memories of Demi Moore and Burt Reynolds fans (do they have fans? I would like to buy them a drink or twelve). And, to be fair, the movie is a bit of a tease, as it only briefly shows breasts, though it shows plenty of erotic dancing (I wouldn't really call it stripping if it's to Annie Lennox- but more about that later).
Let the Stripdown commence!
Dance sequences: Striptease has introspective dance grinds to the soaring voice of Annie Lennox (not my pick for arousal) which show brief flashes of obviously fake breasts and lipo-ed tummy. Demi (Erin Grant) barely even dances on the pole, unlike Nomi, who as you can see...
Licks it! In the dance sequences, Nomi (Elizabeth Berkley) not only licks the disgusting pole, but goes down to an uncomfortably high-thong in her solo and then goes to down to full nude in her joint dance scene with "Hope" ("Nobody wants to f*** a Penny, they want to f*** a Hope"). The girl-on-girl grinding is nothing short of revolutionary (the grunts put Venus and Serena to shame) until the first omygodisthisreallyhappening moment. Nomi gives future husband of Charlotte on Sex and the City Kyle MacLachlan the lap dance of the century (quote me). Not only is Gina Gershon watching the lap dance go down (pun!) but she appears more interested than Kyle until the finish, if you know what I mean. I will spare my poor audience the grainy details, but let's just say the scene is totally realistic and lasts for way too long and inspires the term "the dolphin" which is put into play later in the movie. Also, it shows Elizabeth is willing to do literately anything if even a whiff of an Oscar is in her nostrils.
Score: Showgirls has to win, though Striptease gets major bonus points for the ballsiness of some producer forcing the Lennox songs to be the strip songs.
Showgirls: 10, Striptease: 7
Notably surprising performances: Striptease features a cast including Rumer Willis playing herself. She is surprisingly adorable as a child and I will venture today to say that this will be her best performance, all time. Just stop while you're ahead.
Showgirls features the talents of lesbian icon Gina Gershon as the only person who realizes how trashtastic the movie's going to be and the aforementioned Kyle who has had a surprisingly Showgirls-resilient career. Gina's character Cristal has her own drinking game (based on how many times she says "darlin,'" easily 100+ times) and Kyle is the star of the lap dance and the sex sequence of the movie, so kudos to him.
Score: Striptease wins for recognizing the non-talent of Rumer by allowing her to play herself.
Showgirls total: 16; Striptease total 17
Movie's Message: Erin the character is the hated stripper with the heart of gold, who is just stripping to pay legal costs so she can get her daughter back (If only Harrison Ford had to do this in Air Force One or the Jack Ryans they would be MUCH better movies). Showgirls does not front; it's all t&a with no corny message except for perhaps watch your stuff so it doesn't get stolen? Maybe watch out in general, since some characters take a tumble based on revenge.
Score: Tie. I hate heart-of-gold storylines and Showgirls doesn't really have a plot except for "Hey, watch this girl get naked in pursuit of being able to call herself a halfway-legitimate dancer." But do not despair, they're both great to watch.
Showgirls total: 21; Striptease total: 22
And finally, the most important categories for a campy stripper movie:
Costumes and One-liners: The costumes of Striptease are resplendent. There is the gold Leia-esque bikini in the picture shown above, along with thigh-high white go-go boots and a white fur skirt. Demi is one classy stripper, ladies and gentlemen.
On the other hand, the costumes of Showgirls are tres-declasse. The thongs are wide and way too high up on the hips, and the outfits for the Goddess stage show are minimal except for the occasional bead or biker get-up, as the prime motivator here is t&a.
Score: Striptease in a landslide.
Showgirls total: 23; Striptease total: 32
My favorite one-liner from Striptease was "You can feel it squish," which refers to the vaseline Burt Reynolds has smeared all over his body while wearing nothing but a cowboy hat, leather vest, cowboy boots and briefs. The runner-up is also from Burt (a career role to behold): "Well I'm afraid I made love to it," which refers to a piece of lint formerly belonging to Demi's clothes from a dryer that Burt obtained. Enjoy that mental picture.
Showgirls is awash in one-liners and quotes (context truly unnecessary). "I'm erect, why aren't you erect?" "You can f*** me when you love me." "Thrust it!" "I bet you don't miss having people c*** on you." "I can't even thread a needle!" There are really no words (except these) to describe the cinematic experience that is Showgirls, so you just have to watch it for yourself.
Winner: Because of it's too-good-to-be-true dialogue and everything on the line performance by Berkley as well as the explosive t&a, Showgirls is correctly rewarded the Stripper Movie Crown of Shame. It goes places R-rated movies can't even imagine and then goes even further, somehow. Striptease is not to be forgotten, however, and is a worthy, but much more timid and classy, adversary. Both are strongly advised to be rentals. A Night with Strippers! How lovely!
Ending score: 53- Showgirls; 32: Striptease.
Images found on Google Images
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