Crush of the Month- July- It's a Tie!

I was introduced to a little HBO show called True Blood by a beautiful orange halo of a man, and overcoming my deep-seeded fear of vampires (I saw the Buffy movie when I was 8 and I still have nightmares about it) I decided to give it a go-'round, not even knowing what was in store. Sure, there were scary vampire scenes but what kept me going was the bevy of unbelievably attractive males inhabiting the show. I am eschewing Sam, the adorable bartender, for now because he can't quite cut it with that haircut (to be fair, what he's up against means 99.9999% of men would not cut it) and also the hottest body of all, Jason Stackhouse who plays the dumb sexual object so well one might think he was a woman- except for his rock hard body that the producers show in every episode (it must be in his contract).
My heart was torn, with good reason, so I decided to make this month a tie. Congratulations Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer) and Eric the Vampire (Alexander Skarsgård)! Bill earns extra points and earned his spot for having one of the hottest bottoms ever shown on television (I did not provide the link but it's easy to Google) and Eric was necessary not just for being perfect in every way, but for starring alongside former Crush of the Month Lady Gaga in her exquisite music video for "Paparazzi." Heaven (see below).


Please, enjoy the photos and make a rental of True Blood once the fanfare dies down a bit. It's quite addictive and enjoyable, especially if you love seeing the male musculature on full display.



Pictures found via Googling; Video via Youtube.

Yes!

Here is the (seemingly) always gorgeous Penelope Cruz, our March Crush of the Month, is seen here in her still from the movie Nine coming out in November. It's based off of Federico Fellini's semi-autobiographical 8 1/2, except this is a musical starring Pene, Daniel Day-Lewis (as the sole male), Dame Judi Dench, the grand Sophia Loren, Marion Cotillard, and three mild blahs- descending order: Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson & Fergie. Pretend the last three aren't in it for I'm sure it will be one hell of a show. If nothing else, Pene wears that.

Image scanned from this week's Entertainment Weekly.

Explosively Unbelievable

I had to watch this twice to make sure my eyes weren't tricking me. There really are no words, except: "Gary Oldman, in the role of a lifetime...". Watch for yourself and see if the questions "If it's so bad that the studio never released information about it, is it still real?" and "Could an SNL skit be this in-depth?" go through your head. I checked, and the information is on IMDB and Netflix, and I will be renting this very, very shortly and of course posting my review. A movie this legendary cannot be permitted to pass through the cracks. Let me know what you think.

You're Welcome

All I have to say is: Thank God for art. Because that's allegedly why Bar Refaeli is nude in these photos. Praises!


All images via Daily Mail.

Crush of the Month- June

By far my favorite film of the year, The Hangover, stars an incredibly talented actor named Bradley Cooper who is cusping superstardom. He is the good-looking bad-ass of the film, and I praise the heavens for Todd Phillips (the director) who gave him multiple shirtless/boxer briefs scenes. If that isn't incentive enough to see it I don't know what is. Oh, and it's incredibly hilarious (some might call it pee-worthy).

Bradley Cooper rose to fame quickly once the long-canceled ABC series "Alias" premiered, starring Jennifer Garner as a double-agent named Sydney Bristow and Michael Vartan as her handler/love interest Michael Vaughn. Bradley played Sydney's best friend Will Tippin and though he was not on the show for all five seasons, some might argue (me) that the show peaked right before he left.


"Alias" led him to play the villainous "Sack" in Wedding Crashers, who basically pwns Vince Vaughn on the football field while Owen Wilson tries to steal his girl. Bradley stole the show and quintupled in hotness by being ridiculously funny. And now he's in The Hangover, which has been the breakout hit of the summer. It beat UP at the box office multiple weeks in a row, which is crazy for an R-rated comedy, and it currently has a worldwide tally of $221 million plus, which isn't bad for a movie that cost $35 million to make. A sequel is already in the works and I really want to see the Hangover again. If you haven't, just go see it.

I have included a video that I didn't know existed of Bradley on "Nip/Tuck" where apparently he plays an actor playing a doctor who has to disrobe. He's gorgeous; enjoy.



Images found via Googling; Video from Youtube.

Guess What I'm Buying July 7th...

To celebrate the end of my previous Crush of the Month's reign, Lady Gaga, here are some beyond stunning photos from her upcoming "Fashion Story" (I don't know what that means but it seems fabulous) spread in V Magazine- which comes out July 7th. Please, enjoy.


Images via Perez Hilton.

Belated But Worth It

Lady Gaga performed at the Canadian Much Music Awards a few weeks ago and exploded, literally. Let's just say that if I did not love her as much as I do already, I would have to respect her willingness to put her lovely breasts in the line of fire (again, literally) for the sake of art. So now, call me devoted. Take a look and listen:

Yay!

Close to final numbers are in, and Transformers has placed second to The Dark Knight in five-day totals, earning $201.2 million compared with TDK's $203.8 million. To twist the knife in further, The New York Times had this to say (which obviously I had to copy and paste):

"Few expect this “Transformers” to match the staying power of “The Dark Knight” because the new picture, directed by Michael Bay, with Steven Spielberg as executive producer, has received some of the worst reviews of the decade. Roger Ebert’s critique used the terms “horrible,” “unbearable,” “meager” and “music of hell” to describe it. (And that was just in the opening paragraph.)"

In any case, I'll probably celebrate by writing at least five more posts trashing Transformers without seeing it.

In News That Should Never Happen, But Is...

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, a movie that currently has a 21% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes (145 Rotten; 38 Fresh) is possibly on track to surpass The Dark Knight in total earnings over a five-day period. TDK earned $203.8 million dollars in five days, and T2 has made $126 million in three days.

Now, I'm not one to let critics decide for me whether or not a movie is good or absolutely, brain-softeningly horrible (I'm a rebel), but, and this is for the general public: I MEAN, COME ON! I have not seen the first movie or the cartoon and I never intended to see this movie, and I can tell it's bad. You know why? 1. Michael Bay is the director (for evidence, see IMDB). 2 Megan Fox, the lone she-wolf of the film, has publicly come out and said "I don't want to blow smoke up people's ass. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting." 3. It's a movie about robots. That can turn into things.

Don't get me wrong, I loveee blockbusters. Independence Day, Armageddon, throw 'em at me! But people should not be so desperate this weekend as to give this kind of money to T2 in lieu of other movies that are out. Here's what happens: Explosions, not-long-enough glimpses of Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf desperately trying to act but failing, robots fighting each other, and then something anti-climactic happens at the end so they can make another movie. The end.

In short, if someone tells you they're going to see T2 this weekend, recommend the Hangover, or Up, or even Terminator: Salvation. Just don't recommend My Sister's Keeper, I have a feeling that it's going to blow all the other movies out of the sky (by slowly drowning them in tears) and make $500 million in five days. Too high, you say? Well even it has a 49% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

For Fans of Gaga, Orchestra, Awesome:

Here is an video that I can't stop watching/listening to of an orchestra playing Lady Gaga's "Poker Face". It's bad ass and really, really cool. That's about all I can say, take a listen:

Out of Control Hotness: Megan Fox

The one positive thing I've been able to gain from the release of Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is that the gorgeous Megan Fox has had to go to premiere after premiere all across the globe, always wearing gorgeous outfits showing copious amounts of skin. Today was special, however, because it was the first time I actually gasped when looking at the computer- instantly in awe of her overall look and especially the dress. Even the cones, 3/4 man and GMC truck in the background cannot spoil this gorgeous picture. Please, enjoy.

Image via Just Jared.

Michael Jackson- Forever Imitated, Never Duplicated

Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, died today at the age of 50 of suspected cardiac arrest. Seemingly out of nowhere, this leaves a void in the field of music that will never forseeably be replaced.

What makes me most sad about his death, of course occurring just before he was supposed to make his "comeback" by performing fifty shows in London, is that a whole generation of children are growing up not knowing who Michael Jackson is, or worse, only knowing of him as a scandal-plagued former star.

Before MTV turned to suck they actually played things called music videos, which had the novel idea of taking a hit single and adding visuals. The first music video I remember seeing was Madonna's "Like A Virgin", which needless to say had a profound effect on my life. Shortly thereafter I saw the unquestionable zenith of the music video form, Michael Jackson's "Thriller". Seeing something so epic in scale coupled with such a powerful song is jaw-dropping, and deserves it's own award as the video that launched MTV into its own being (for better or for worse) and videos since have never even come close to its perfection (incredible even when just considering how technology has advanced in twenty-seven years).

The album Thriller is still the number-one selling album of all-time last time I checked (over The Eagles' Hell Freezes Over) and the singles on it are astounding. Billie Jean and Beat It are two of the best singles ever and have not aged at all. I feel an underdog sense of respect for his first solo album, Off The Wall, which featured incredibly happy and catchy tunes such as Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough and The Way You Make Me Feel. Michael's work as the star of the Jackson 5 when he was such a young child is both heartbreaking and awe-inspiring to watch- knowing how his father treated him while also respecting his voice that is so completely ridiculous for a child of that age to have.

Today when I went out to dinner I had the horrible experience of listening to a father explain to his 6-7 year old daughter who Michael Jackson was. Not so sad was that she didn't know- she's very young and at that point it's his responsibility to educate her- but the father had to explain Michael to her in relation to Miley Cyrus and The Pussycat Dolls. If you're old enough to listen to that crap you should have a near-doctorate in Michael, and I thought of all the other kids her age and younger who will probably only discover him in their 20s. It's a depressing thought, and with the death of the undisputed King of Pop, who was so famous that people spent their lives and made their livings impersonating him, a large fraction of my childhood has vanished. To remember him I have selected five videos: 1. His performance with the Jackson 5 on Dick Clark's American Bandstand of "I Want You Back"; 2. His video "Billie Jean"; 3. His video "Beat It"; 4. His video "Thriller"; and 5. His performance at the 1995 VMAs which lasts for ten minutes and features a medley of some of his greatest songs.





Image found via Google; videos found on Youtube.

Silly Oscars, Tricks Are For Idiots

Today there was Earth-shaking news in the world of entertainment for everyone who cares deeply about movies (It's just me? Moving on...). The Academy Awards, aka Oscars, have inexplicably decided to bump up the number of Best Picture nominees from five to ten. TEN. Considering I thought last year's Oscars included two movies (out of a nominated five) that should never have been near that title, I will say in my kindest words that finding another FIVE movies to fill the new void is going to be troublesome at best.

The Academy finally caught on (only five months after announcing nominations! Not bad for them!) that people in the public were "mad as hell and [they] were not gonna take it anymore!" because "their" movies (aka blockbusters, or really just movies that might actually make you laugh a tiny bit instead of just making you sob or roll your eyes the whole way through- I'm looking at you Dances with Wolves). The Academy missed the boat last year by not nominating The Dark Knight or even WALL-E (I don't think they should have nominated WALL-E but at least it was better than The Reader) as they represented high quality movies that are arguably the respective bests of their genres who happened to appeal to a large mass of people. But instead, good ol' Harvey Weinstein and his incessant campaigning had to go on and remind voters (who are very, very old) that the Holocaust did indeed happen, was a horrible event, and they should celebrate it and Kate Winslet being the possible most nominated loser by nominating it for Best Picture, which they kindly did.

So now the Academy is trying to mea culpa it's way out of it by adding five more slots to the Best Picture lineup. I say, why stop there? If they're so eager to boost viewer membership/caring by adding movies that people will have actually heard of in large theater chains while simultaneously boosting revenue/losing credibility by letting "NOMINATED FOR BEST PICTURE" be on every forseeable DVD cover from now until eternity, why not let Flavor Flav host and let the ceremony be sponsored by Coca Cola? That, I can guarantee, will bring in viewers. Especially when they cut to the money shot of Martin Scorsese knockin' back a Coke and winking into the camera lens. The type of advertisement money can buy, because it did (in my imagination).

So, since there are now ten nominees I wanted to get a headstart on the competition and list my picks for the ten nominated pictures for the year 2009. I have to start this soon so I can actually watch all of them. It's hard to schedule in ten movies before the ceremony.

1. (Winner) Nine- The Musical
2. Shutter Island (Scorsese)
3. Broken Embraces (Almodovar)
4. Public Enemies
5. Where the Wild Things Are
6. Julie & Julia
7. Inglourious Basterds
8. The Hangover (my pick)
9. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Michael Bay will finally be an Oscar-nommed producer!!)
10. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (sleeper hit of the fall!)

Crush of the Month- Belated May

When I was trying to think of a Crush of the Month for a belated May post, I could only think of a tie for two people who have exploded in June. So, the second will be saved until next week's post but for now here is the first, even though I really became obsessed with her in June, you all can suck my technicalities.

Lady Gaga, born Stefani Angelina Joanne Germanotta, is a goddess. She is my Crush of the Month not just for her looks (she has a hell of an ass)- I also have a crush on her being. She sings like hell, writes her own songs all the while wearing incredible outfits that most people could not even dream of. She was on the cover of Rolling Stone for their annual "Hot Lost" issue wearing nothing but a clear corset and bubbles. Needless to say when I rushed to my Target to pick up a copy it was the only magazine turned around.

I love that she is a total artist and has not yet been swept up by "the Man" in interviews- she seems genuine and hellbent on becoming a younger generation's Madonna (and I do not say that lightly). Her videos are gorgeous and I sometimes listen to various remixes of Poker Face on repeat for days on end, all the while admiring how gorgeous she looks in paparazzi photos while wearing nothing but spankies or nipple tape.

I hope she can live up to my hype and remain the hottest thing around, but for now I will suffice to trying to get a ticket whenever she goes on tour near me whilst fighting the urge to act like a 12 year old girl and buy a platinum wig and slip on some latex knickers to "Gaga" myself out.


Images found via Googling and Rolling Stone's website.

Try Not To Have Nightmares

March 2010 will see the release of Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland, starring Mia Wasikowska, an Australian and star of the first season of Showtime's In Treatment, as Alice. Even though the movie is almost a year from being released, the powers that be have decided to release publicity shots of the key actors in character: Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, Matt Lucas as Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the great Michael Sheen in what I speculate to be full CGI as the White Rabbit and of course Mia as Alice. All of the players certainly look cool, but I have to say they are far more psychedelic and frightening than I would have imagined. Alice is not a carefree tale, but did they really have to make Johnny look like Carrot Top's yellow-green eyed twin? See for yourself:

Images found via The Daily Mail

You're Welcome, Continued.

A few days ago I gave you the visually stunning cover of Entertainment Weekly starring Ryan Reynolds. Come Saturday I was excited as a kitten in a candy store waiting for my subscription to arrive. I sat at my table and cautiously opened and gasped with delight. There is not only that granite-carved magic on the cover, but there are three other inside covers. Here I was just happy to have my exterior when inside there was so much more magic. I knew I had to share it with the rest of the world, so here they are. Make sure you are seated, because they are simply stunning. And have a paper bag handy for gasping purposes. You're welcome.

In Honor of Watching Valkyrie Tonight...

Tonight I will embark on the Tom Cruise non-German-accent opus known as Valkyrie, a movie that was doomed to fail but in fact performed moderately well considering the immense amount of bad press he received. To honor this sure to be meh occasion I give you three Tom Cruise related videos. The first is his infamous Scientology interview, where he talks about Scientology things set to the Mission: Impossible music. If you don't feel goosebumps of fear and/or nervousness you might want to check your pulse, because he is batshit crazy in this. The only comfort I feel is knowing that this was probably recorded around M:I 1 filming time, so he's had over a decade to mellow out. [Editor's Note: I looked up some of the Scientology definitions he uses to try and make sense of it all and they don't really help but here they are- KSW means Keeping Scientology Working or helping it spread, and SPs are people who do not support and are critical of Scientology]



The second video features Rebecca Romijn's spouse Jerry O'Connell, who does an incredible bed-wetting impression of Tom, but instead of talking about Scientology he talks about being an actor during the past Writers Guild struggles of 2008.

Jerry O'Connell in the parody video Tom Cruise WANTS you to see! from Jerry Minor

Finally, I've saved the best for last. A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away there were such a thing as the MTV Movie Awards and they didn't totally suck. During this odd time in this netherworld, a video was made by one Ben Stiller as Tom Cruise's lifetime stunt double, Tom Crooze. The fact that Cruise almost never uses a stunt double is neither here nor there, because Crooze has helped him in all of his movies: Magnolia, M:I 2, Risky Biz and my personal favorite Cocktail. I could loop the latter and watch it for hours. To honor Tom's power and greatness, take some time to watch the below videos and please, enjoy.

Crush of the Month- Belated April

Apparently I somehow missed two months of doing Crush of the Month, so I will have to hurry up and find a May counterpart before doing my June. But for now here is the absolute goddess Ludivine Sagnier, hailing from France and making men and women everywhere sweat.

I saw in her the sexual thriller Swimming Pool starring screen legend (and a sex goddess in her own right) Charlotte Rampling. The movie is fantastic and I highly suggest it as a rental, and if you need more to it then that just enjoy the pictures or, more traditionally, ask me or IMDB for a brief summary.
Ludivine was so stunning in the movie that I nearly had a heart attack- she is so aware of her own sexuality that I could barely take my eyes off of her. This was and early experience for her in an English-speaking role, but she has also been in the newer version of Peter Pan as Tinkerbell, the relatively new A Girl Cut in Two and was also nominated for a Cesar Award (French equivalent of an Oscar) for her role alongside screen legend Catherine Deneuve in 8 Women.

Besides her growing resume and stunning beauty, Ludivine is about to turn 30 in July. Considering she's a typical French gal who smokes and drinks, I believe she looks stunning. Curiously enough, most of her movie posters have just involved her on the cover in some form of minimal clothing, and the black and white photos I have chosen to accompany these posters come from the French Playboy, when she graced the cover (after having had two children) within the past two months. I hope you all enjoy her as much as I have and look forward to watching her career in the States expand. Below is a video of her dancing in the movie Swimming Pool which I find bewitching. Unfortunately it's in another language but hopefully that will help to increase your curiosity about the film. It also includes (it's approximately nine minutes long, but the dancing only lasts for a couple minutes) a NSFW amount of nudity, so you have been warned. Please, enjoy.



Images found via Googling and are subject to copyright. Video via Youtube.

About to Burst... Sam Worthington

A few posts ago I reviewed Terminator: Salvation as a part of my blockbuster showdown and highlighted the performance by the previously unknown Sam Worthington, an Australian who is poised to become absolutely huge in the States. He has four major projects in the production, including the new James Cameron (Titanic) film Avatar, as well as Clash of the Titans with Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes (He plays Perseus, the main character- below).

Entertainment Weekly agreed with my assessment of his performance in T: S, and put him at the center of their bullseye for the week, and around this time he was added to the movie posters advertising the movie, including a giant one in Times Square with equal billing and font size to Christian Bale. I look forward to watching his career blossom and seeing him on the cover of magazines like a certain previous post where his gorgeous body is on display. And, if you need another incentive to possibly see or at least rent T: S, let's just say that Arnold's nude scene in the first Terminator has not been forgotten. It has been improved to the best extent it could be, and I was a happy little lady in the theater.


Images found on Google.

You're Welcome

Ryan Reynolds, star of The Proposal and Wolverine, puts a new twist on being ridiculously hot and on a magazine cover by making me lust for a man wearing floaty wings. But it's worth it. Whoever had this idea/took this picture deserves a huuuuge raise (pun intended). Please enjoy, but take Ryan's message seriously and wear your water wings. Swimming can be dangerous, yo!

Image found via EW's website.